Healing Him | ✓

29.

"But we are sending Khanna to pick you both up." Annika mumbled out a small yes when Shivaay didn't answer his brother's words.

Shivaay knew his words were hurting his brothers, but he will never let them see him at his lowest. They were never meant to witness this. Neither did Annika, but she won't listen to him. Besides, she knows the story. Om and Rudra doesn't.

Annika led him to the couch. Her feet careful of the things thrown around. Shivaay holding his hand behind his back. She noticed it but let it slide off for the moment. The lights were still kept off at his request. She noticed that he didn't removed his hands from his back. In the dim light she spotted the dark stain smeared on the beige trousers that Shivaay had been wearing. And her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Show me your hand, the one you're holding behind your back." Annika instructed. Her eyes sharp. Shivaay slowly held up his hand. Annika's heart clenched painfully when she noticed the darker region over his palm. It was blood. She felt the dried blood on the back of his hand as she held his hands.

"What have you done Shivaay!" She winced as she took his hands in her tenderly. She blew on it softly. "Do you have bandages?" She asked as she looked around. Shivaay shook his head. He took his hands back. "Don't worry about it, I have dealt with worse before. Don't you remember?" He asked with a chuckle. But his smile dropped at the sight of her glare. She looked at him unimpressed.

He sighed.

"What's troubling you Shivaay? I have been noticing this ever since I have come here." She spoke quietly. In the dim light she could only make out his features. Her hands caressing his cheek, she chuckled to herself when his beard grazed her hand. She shivered.

His gaze dropped.

"Shivaay?" She urged. "I know you are troubled after seeing her again after all these years...but you need to open up. You don't have to bottle it inside, not when I am here to listen. I'm here for you." His gaze met her and dropped his gaze at their joined hands. His injured palm held carefully between hers.

He didn't know what to do. Should he tell her? He leaned into her touch. His eyes closing in momentarily, and Annika realised how tired he must have been.

"I have never told you about my years abroad. Have I?" His voice was a soft whisper. The words were spoken so low that she had to strain her ears to hear it. He was looking up at the ceiling as he leaned on the back of couch. His gaze was empty.

"Shivaay—" She frowned.

"I spent five years in therapy." What? Annika's eyes widened as Shivaay chuckled. "Nobody knows that." He said his eyes not moving from the spot. She didn't know what to make of the information. Her hands squeezed his in a comforting gesture. But Shivaay looked lost. Like he was reminiscing what happened in the years of her absence.

"What happened when you left Manali, Shivaay?" She asked directly. He didn't look at her when he answered.

"We have shifted to Mumbai. After I got the results of the final exams—I left——I had no idea what I wanted to do. I felt like I had no purpose." Shivaay chuckled.

"I mean, I had devoted my whole childhood to Om and Rudra. To raise them up." Annika knew that, but she couldn't help but frown. His dadi— and as if sensing the change if expression he continued.

"Dadi, well she was never around. It had always been us three." He spoke and he gave out a bitter chuckle. "I mean she had been grieving yes— but can you believe that a child had to take up the responsibilities when an adult was around to do so? I wished she paid more attention to what was happening. I lost my parents too that night. Never I had her comforting me." Shivaay spoke for the first time. Annika's eyes widened and she realised that he was voicing out all the frustration he had nurtured deep inside. The emotions that he has bucketed in.