In the World of Magic(Harry Potter Next Generation Fanfic)

Chapter 31 - Bonding With Malfoy

Amanda's POV

The air hit my face and made me breath in with relief. I felt more free when I could actually feel the air hit my face, than when I was surrounded by walls and closed windows. Sitting down by the edge, I took out my iPod. With James' help we had been able to charge it with magic. That way, I wouldn't be without my beloved music. It really was beloved when I could use it to close of the world around me. Something that I needed when I was getting threats. 

"Amanda!" I turned around quickly when I heard the voice and saw someone I had not expect to see at all. It was Scorpius. We spoke regularly, and I would consider him a friend, but we weren't really that close. Therefor I had not expected to see him up there in the Astronomy tower, looking for me. But there he was.

"Hey, Scorpius. What's up?", I wondered calmly and smiled, but with little happiness. He saw right through me. He didn't even need to tell me himself. I could see it all in his face. He looked as if he was looking at a hurt puppy. For the first time in my life I actually felt like a hurt puppy, and I wanted to be treated like one. Scorpius came up to me and sat down. He didn't seem to mind the slight cold, or the blowing wind. 

"Are you okay? You looked rather upset while you hurried up here", Scorpius spoke and put one of his hands on my hand. Just then I felt as if I was seconds from spilling it all, from telling him all of my dirty little secrets. The only thing stopping me was the reminder that if I told Scorpius, he would be involved and therefor he wouldn't be safe. I couldn't do that to anyone, much less a friend of mine. Instead I knew that I would have to come up with a lie. 

"Recently I... I have just been feeling like I... Like I don't really belong. After my mum didn't want me home for christmas and... My dad has barely even written to me all year I don't feel as if I know them anymore. I guess I... Kind of feel like I don't have a family anymore." I actually had to hold down a sob after I had explained this feeling to Scorpius. Instead of making up a complete lie, I had told Scorpius another one of my problems. It was a problem that almost hurt me more than the notes had. The person that wrote the notes wasn't close to me, I didn't really know them. My parents were supposed to be there for me. They were supposed to support me and help me. They were supposed to love me. I hadn't felt loved since I left London that autumn. 

Scorpius looked at me with pained eyes and shook his head. Then, instead of just giving me an answer, he embraced me. That was what made the first tear fall. The way that he cared about me, without really knowing me that well. The way he didn't care about how well we knew each other. He just simply cared about me being hurt. It was a gesture that I connected with family. It made me feel like I actually had some family left. 

"Family doesn't end in blood. It's not the people who give you life who deserve the total family. A family is a group of people who care for each, who look after each other and who always have each other's best in mind. If the two people that gave you life isn't there for you, you have to know that there are others. I, for one, wouldn't mind being your family. I also think that Allison and Christina already think of you as their family. That is the beauty of the four houses. The people there becomes your family, especially when you don't have one", Scorpius comforted me with power in his voice. It was clear to me that he wasn't just speaking nonsense. He meant every word he said, he believed that it was that way. That was exactly how he saw things. Knowing that he was actually being honest felt much better than if he had said some lie about how my parents "still cared." He wasn't just trying to make me feel better, he was trying to help me solve the problem. Something I hadn't been able to do earlier. 

"I didn't know that you were that smart", I joked while feeling another tear fall down my cheek. Even though Scorpius words had helped, I couldn't just suddenly stop crying. Scorpius fake laughed and ruffled my hair a little. 

"I'm way smarter than you. My mind is old, though my body is not", Scorpius spoke, trying to sound old and wise. That made me laugh, loudly. Just the thought of someone that was even younger than me being all wise and cunning, especially Scorpius, seemed hilarious in my mind. 

"You know it's true." I shook my head at Scorpius words. He could be so odd at times. Odd was something that was good though. When people could be odd around you, you knew that they liked you. Then they felt at home with you. 

"Whatever you say, youngling", I spoke with a fake wise voice. It made Scorpius smile and we both laughed at our silliness. The way that Scorpius had turned my emotions around was incredible. A friend like that was precious. I never wanted to lose someone like that. 

After we had calmed down Scorpius and I started to listen to my music that I had on my iPod. He was surprisingly well educated when it came to muggle music. He told me that he liked it better than wizard music, that it was more enjoyable. He especially liked dark indie songs. 

"I don't know, it's so easy to relate to the pain and unhappiness. There are so many great musicians too that play indie music", Scorpius told me as we listened through my indie list. I was happy to have another person that enjoyed the same type of music as I did. 

"I know, and the beat isn't to bad either. I especially love Ben Howard. His voice, and that guitar. I mean, how could you not love him", I confessed and closed my eyes as we listened to the soft voice of one of my favorite artists. 

"He really is talented", Scorpius agreed before we both fell silent. Then we just laid there and listened to the music. Sometimes we hummed or mumbled along to the lyrics. Other times we just stayed silent and listened. 

"You know, I don't think I've ever been able to listen to music with my friends. I've tried but they don't really get muggle music", Scorpius told me filling the silence between us. I smiled and opened my eyes. I leaned on my elbows and looked down on Scorpius. His eyes had also opened. 

"It's nice, isn't it. You connect even though you don't have to speak. You learn things about a person. For example, I could tell that you really relate to Is This Happiness. I saw it in the way you seemed to be just lost in you own thoughts when you listened to it", I announced. Scorpius tilted his head a little before smiling sincerely. I think that both of us were just happy that we had each other. Maybe we needed each other more than we thought. I at least knew that I needed someone that could listen without judging, the way Scorpius did.

"Do you know what time it is?", Scorpius then asked as he looked towards the sky that had started to turn dark. We must have been out there for so long. I had no idea how we could have just spent more than an hour listening to music. It was crazy. 

"No idea, but I think we should get inside", I told him and got up from the floor. I reached out my hand to help Scorpius, and he took it. We both headed towards the stairs, but before we got there we heard the sound of an owl hooting. We turned towards the sound and I saw an unknown owl coming towards us. It stopped on the floor in front of me. The feeling I had forgotten for a while, the dread, had returned. 

I picked up the note from the owl, who flew away just as I had let it's leg go. My name was written on the front of the letter, and I could recognize the way the person had written. The messenger.

"What is it?", Scorpius asked from behind me. I turned around and tried to act as casual as possible. I put the letter in my back pocket and smiled quickly, showing that everything was okay. 

"It's just from a friend", I lied before starting to walk again. He too continued on with heading down. Nothing was as okay as I tried to make it out to be. It hadn't just been a note. I had received a whole letter. I had no idea what it would say, I didn't want to know. I knew, though, that I would have to open it. Whatever was inside was important information. My emotions didn't matter that much when it came to figuring out who the messenger was. I couldn't let my emotions matter. Somehow I would have to force all of my fright and all of my worry to a dark corner of my mind. After everything was over I would let it out. Until then I just had to be okay. That was all there was.