BROKEN PIECES OF HIM.

CHAPTER 9 | Is It Enough

KWAME.

I'm looking outside the window, it's raining and all I could think about is the day Amara walked in in my office without knowing anything about me or what was going to happen that day but she came because a part of her wanted to trust someone so bad because everyone she has ever trusted betrayed her in some way.

She walked in here looking like a ray of sunshine, so beautiful but yet broken into pieces. She opened up to me and shared with me her secrets and I swore that day that I will do absolutely anything to make sure that she is safe in this world and that is a promise that I am never going to break.

I know I chose to not be part of her life because I wanted her to have her life, to live and enjoy her life without answering to anyone and that's exactly what I did. I wasn't close to her but I knew every move she made. Where she went and with whom because she's mine and always will be and I had to make sure that no one touched what was mine.

Her father also made that part for me so much easier because security around her was tight. No man hot close to her and from the daily videos I would get, I saw that it drove her crazy. The only time when I wouldn't get feedback on her was when she was at her parents house. Waiting for the weekend to be over was torture because I lived to see her beautiful face.

I made sure I sent her birthday gifts when it was her birthday. I would call her and never talk. Just hearing her breathe, sigh and call my name was giving me the strength I needed to hold on but I'm slowly losing my will. The first year without her was the hardest. I shut everyone out because I didn't want anyone to see me in pain.

My friends knew it was that bad and they blamed me but they also understood that I love Amara more than I love myself and I would sacrifice anything to make her happy and give her the world. They knew I loved her wholeheartedly when I went to Cape Town and risked my life for her.

I hope she knows that no mountain is too high for me to reach her. I'd cross oceans just for her and no one else. The nights are long and cold. I would dream about her, that she was next to me with her soft body, curves and her intoxicating smell. I would dream about sinking my fingers in her hair while buried deep in her feeling her soft velvet walls and hair.

That pouty pink mouth, those eyes, her smile. God. I take a deep breath and shake my head. I hate days like this, especially this kind of weather. I would always get through it by drinking because rainy days remind me of her. I fist my hand in my pocket because my hands are itching to touch her, hold her and feel her. I close my eyes and slowly breathe out.

" I'm sure that coffee has gone cold," Msizi said, behind me. I didn't even hear him coming in.
I turned around and he stood next to the door with his hands folded.
" Hey, how long have you been standing there?" I placed the mug on the table and  walked to my desk.
" Long enough, don't you think it's long enough now? Like it's enough"

I sat down then looked at him. " What is enough?" He cocked his head.
" really? We're going to play that game now?"
" I'm not playing any games. I simply asked you, "What is enough?"
" Sometimes you make me want to punch you so hard until you stop doing what you're doing. What you're doing to yourself is not fair for you and her. You miss her, you're miserable without her. It's been 2 god damn years, it's enough Kwame!. Go and get your girl"

Fxck!, not this conversation again. I rub my temple. Msizi doesn't give up because every time it's this conversation even though he knows that what he says won't change my mind.
" That's what happens when you sacrifice your happiness for the person you love the most. You've seen her, how happy she is. She needs this, man, more than anything."

" I know that but you also need her. You deserve to be part of this new journey in her life. You don't belong in her past".
The same words her father once said to me that I was her past and I belonged there.
" This isn't about me or how I feel. As long as she is happy then I am okay"
He shakes his head. " You're really going to wait for another two years?"
" Yes"
" You do know that we can't block every fxcken douchebag that wants her right? Someone is going to get close to her and…."
" Don't piss me off Msi!, no one is going to touch her unless if they are tired of using their dick because I will chop it off"