Everything Has Changed

Black Swan

"To get you to focus. You've seemed out of sorts this whole morning of practice. What's up?"

Travis sighed wearily. Was he about to get into this. Unload it all and let it spill out like this? He had no one else to talk to, so Pat was his best option and solution.

"Its Taylor."

"Why what's wrong with Taylor, is she ok?" Patrick replied, eyes wide open with worry. It was something Travis had admired in Patrick from the moment he had met him. He had always looked out for his fellow teammates, and that is what made him a great leader.

"No no she's fine. Well she's not but, physically she is doing ok. She just- She won't leave the house. Not since this whole Kayla business. She is so afraid Pat."

"Of what?" Patrick asked.

"Everything mate. I've tried convincing her that there is nothing to worry about but it's as if I am speaking to a brick wall. And I don't want to sound patronising by saying that it is all in her head, but In really don't know what to say. Or do for that matter. Everything is just such a mess."

Patrick came him a reassuring pat on the back.

'I don't really know what to say here mate. Have you spoken with anyone. Or has she spoken with anyone?"

Travis shook his head. "Every time I try and approach the subject she just shuts me down, or just denies it all and says she is fine."

"It's probably her way of coping." Pat replied. "Britt does it too. Says that everything is fine until she ultimately breaks down. You need to talk to her Trav."

"I've tried mate. God knows, it is all I have been doing these past few days." Travis said with an annoyed tone growing in his voice.

"Well you are going to have to override her. She isn't going to like it, but if she is going to accept help herself. On her own. You re going to have to call them in yourself. Because you'll do anything to protect your family, I know you will. No matter what happens, they come first."

Travis nodded, agreeing with his teammate, deciding he would have a harsh reality check with Taylor when he got home from meetings. She should be finished with them by now, he thought, as he grabbed his bag and flung it on the passenger seat of his car ready to go home to see his family again. As he glanced down at his phone he noticed a text message, and a missed call. Both had been from Tree. And when that happens, it's never good news.

Tree: Hey Trav, sorry to bother you. I think you just be at practice right now. I was just wondering if Taylor was ok. We were meant to have a meeting this morning and she never turned up.

Oh no....

He pressed dial on the contact, hoping the woman would pick up soon. After only a couple of dial outs, she picked up, hearing her smooth voice echo down the phone in worry.

"Travis, is that you?" he heard the ginger haired woman speak down the phone.

"Yeah it's me. I am just leaving practice now to head home." Travis said, switching the phone to hands free bluetooth so that he could talk and drive at the same time in an effort to save some time to get home and see if Taylor was safe.

"Ok. Have you heard from Taylor since you left this morning for practice. I tried calling her after she didn't turn up to the meeting but she didn't answer. Her phone keeps going straight to voicemail."

This worried Travis even more. He reassured the publicist that he would be home as soon s possible and would let her know exactly what was going on. She thanked him before hanging up and going off to reschedule th meetings and appointments that had been missed that morning. The drive home was quick, with most likely a few traffic laws broken, but he was home safe and sound. Were Taylor and Luna safe and sound also?

As he stepped into the house he noticed Luna's stroller set out and ready at the front door, as if Taylor was getting ready to take Luna out for a walk. His heart warmed but then dropped again, as he saw he sitting, Luna in her arms and the remarkable stains of tears on her cheeks.

"Tay?" He asked softly, slowly approaching where she was sat. He saw the full extent of the years when her head jerked up to face him eye to eye.

"I'm sorry Trav." She sniffed back tears. "I didn't think you would be back so early. I was going to try and take Luna out with the dog. Just to the park you know, but I just can't do it. I tried."

"Oh Tay." Travis sighed. He knew things weren't fine and he was hoping that this would be the moment that the penny would finally drop and that Taylor's delusion would quit her.

"I'm fine Travis. I'm just a bit scared that's all. It will pass, just give me a moment. She could sense that he was thinking thins. Things that she had been thinking too, but just didn't write want to believe.

"Come on Tay. Who are you trying to impress here. No one believes for one second that you are fine." Travis stated bluntly. He knew it sounded harsh but there really was no other way to get his point across to her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered slowly. Travis came to her side, wrapping his arms around her as he sensed the breakdown was about to implode and flood tears into their living room floor.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's not your fault ok."

"It's not your fault." Taylor sighed, rolling her eyes at the comment Travis had just made. One that before had used to comfort her. "That's all I ever hear, and I know it's not my fault. You always tell me that. You have told me that so many times that I am beginning to believe that maybe it is my fault. That I am the problem." She cried, breaking down into a pool of tears. "I am drowning in the same mystic waters in which you swim in delight! Why can't anyone see it?"

"I can see that Tay. And thats why I have been pleading with you to talk to someone. Someone who can help." Travis pleaded with her, attempting to win over her irrationality.

"No you don't Trav, you think I am crazy. And every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy." And there she was, quoting her own songs. Her music, her lyricism from a time she wished to never go back to. Joe...

But Travis had to ignore her. Through all of the anger and the rage she would through at him, when she was better, she would know that it had all been for the best. He would rather conduct a repatriation than a post mortem.

He knew things had to change. This wouldn't be the first time Travis had seen her tied to the bed, white straight jacket branded at the ready. But this time it would not be for show, and there would be no fun and games about it. It would real, and it would be cruel.

And the reason why hadn't been denial, it had been the shame. The idea that a mother couldn't look after her own child was just absurd. Humans and all other creatures had been doing it for centuries, millenniums now. How come she was the odd one out. After everything that had happened in her life, wasn't she the one person who deserved a bit of a break from all of this.

And when Taylor eventually gave into the temptation and calmed into his arms, the doctors had been called. The diagnosis was clear and printed out in black and white. A simple case of postpartum anxiety and depression, as if it was no more than a small blip and a statistic in his book. The doctor had left, not before prescribing the course of treatment. Therapy, love and TLC, all of which would be offered and taken without any questions asked. The rest of that night involved cuddles, a way for Travis to feel for the life that was left inside her.

"I feel like a failure Trav." She whispered, and she sounded so defeated. As if the battle was already over.

"I know you do Tay, but I can promise you with every ounce of my being, that it is not true. Not true one bit, and one way or another we are going to get through this."

The road ahead was dark, and only time would tell if they would find the light....

AUTHORS NOTE: Oooo more and more drama as the plot thickens even more. Sorry to put you through this pain but Part 4 is almost over. We only have a few more chapters of this part left to go..