Wait For You (Noah Sebastian)

Chapter 14

A/N: Thank you for sticking with this story! This chapter is a little different as we have our first Noah POV! I hope you enjoy :)

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Noah's POV

I knew I'd taken things too far, too soon, but I couldn't help myself. I had been fighting these feelings for far longer than I wanted to admit, and apparently it was becoming more obvious to everyone around me. The guys were yet to work out who it was, luckily. Of course, I would be one to complicate things by falling for someone in our friendship group. 

Ever since Lili's break up, I just wanted to be there for her...as a friend. I just wanted to show her she was worthy of more. However, I didn't help myself, the feelings I thought I could ignore were only growing stronger the more time I had been spending with her. These past few months had been torture, trying to firstly admit to myself what I was feeling and then suppress everything I realised I felt. I had to take what I could, though, finding joy in the ability to make her laugh or help her escape reality for a while. 

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't let go of her words about how she should have been with someone like me. I couldn't ignore the way her lips had felt against mine when we kissed. The kiss I'd been dying for, for so long. I tried to also erase the image of her in her underwear from the night I helped her get home, it felt wrong, but I just couldn't. She looked perfect. She was right, I'd seen women in their underwear before, but none of them compared to her. I'd woke up with other women in my arms before also, but again, not a single one compared to the feeling I felt with her. 

I had played off the moments between us, I knew she wasn't ready for a relationship but something deep down would not let me give up hope. However, the hope made me take things too far. The kiss was definitely an example of a step too far, and now I had to live with how I'd pushed her away. Apparently, so far away, I'd pushed her into finding someone else, despite her reluctance to start another relationship. That hurt more than her walking away after our kiss. Maybe it wasn't the relationship that was the problem, maybe it was me?

I couldn't hide the hurt when I saw her after she returned from her date, and I couldn't stop myself from wanting answers. I took my chance to follow her into the kitchen and question her myself. A sudden rush of confidence finding me when she locked eyes with me, there was something about the way she met my gaze and the look in her eyes that always fuelled my hope. Before I could think it through, I was inches away from her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and lowering my voice to a whisper. I didn't miss the way her mouth hung open, unable to speak, before I left her alone.

"Ready?" Folio asked. I nodded as we headed out to join Jolly and Nicholas, who were waiting in the car for us already. We were going on a hike with our tour manager, Matt, our friends, Jesse and Michael, as well as Emma and Lili. I was fighting the nerves I had around seeing Lili again. I hadn't seen her since the day of her date and we had barely spoken since the kiss. 

"How have you been?" I overheard Matt asking Lili as we began walking. 

"Yeah, you know, same old I guess, you?"

"Enjoying the break from tour, but of course still keeping busier than ever" Matt laughed. "I heard you had a date the other day, how did that go?" 

"Wow, word really gets around, huh? Yeah, erm, let's just say it was a bad idea" she laughed. I could tell she rolled her eyes, even though I was walking behind her. 

"NOAH" Jolly suddenly shouted from beside me, making me jump. 

"Fuck you dude" I said, as I tried to compose myself.

"You were in your own little world then, are thinking of her?" he said smugly. 

"No" I said, aware the heat was rising in my cheeks so I quickly looked down at the floor letting my hair fall over my face whilst putting my sunglasses on.

"Right" he said, laughing at me, unconvinced, as he continued to walk by my side. 

Soon the group had spread out more, the incline taking is toll on some of us more than others. I peered over my shoulder and saw Emma chatting with Michael and Nicholas. Lili was trailing behind, taking sips of her water, I could tell she was getting tired. We hadn't said a word to each other so far and I hated it. I decided to take advantage of her being behind and walked slower until I was matching her pace. 

"How you doing back here?" I asked as soon as I was by her side. 

"Just fine" she groaned. "Remind me why I agreed to this again?" 

"To be outside in the great outdoors, with your best friends" I said grinning.

"I can think of better ways to spend my time with friends" She huffed.

"Come on, shall we try catch up with them?" I asked, as I noticed how much the gap was growing between us and the group ahead.

"I can't, you go ahead though" 

"There's no way I'm leaving you behind Lil" I said. We continued walking at her pace, the others starting to disappear into the distance. The silence was comfortable, but I still couldn't help feeling like there were so many unsaid things between us, causing tension to linger.

"Are we ok?" I asked, deciding to approach the topic carefully. Lili stopped walking and took a deep breath. I wasn't sure if it was due to the question or being out of breath from the walking, but I stopped beside her. Lili closed her eyes for a second before looking up at me, her green eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

"We are. I just don't want to ruin anything between us Noah, you're one of my best friends" Lili admitted.

"I know, me too. I am sorry if I was out of line... you know" I said, suddenly feeling nervous about actually referring to the kiss out loud.

"You weren't out of line. Can we just carry on as normal though?" she asked. I nodded, as much as it killed me to be 'just friends', I also couldn't lose her completely. "Oh, we really are behind" she laughed, as she looked ahead where there was no one to be seen. 

"I told you we should catch up with them" 

"And I told you I can't, we aren't all blessed with long legs like you, slenderman" she giggled. The noise causing my heart to flutter. I tried to ignore the feeling.

"Come on then" I laughed and crouched down, gesturing for her to get on my back. I peered over my shoulder at her, seeing her hesitate for a second, but she soon made her way over to me. I began walking, carrying her on my back, holding onto her legs as she put her arms around my shoulders. After some time, I felt her rest her head against mine and I couldn't help but smile. 

"I made a mistake going on that date" she said, her voice quiet, sounding deep in thought. "I think you were right, it wasn't the right person, and maybe not the right time either" she added. Her words once again gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, one day she would be ready and maybe I could show her that I could be the right person for her.  I would for years if I had to, I know I'm not getting over her.