Blood Binding

Chapter 15

I watch as the emergency team carry out another body that I nearly killed. Nick hasn't shown any signs of waking up and now Ive just hurt my new friend. There is no hope for me, I am a ticking bomb thats on the brink of exploding. 

4 hours passed and Miss Fallon excused me from all of my classes due to the circumstance. Great even one of the most influential teachers are afraid of me too. I was sent to my room 3 hours ago and I hope I'm not sounding dramatic when I say that I am certainly rotting inside these four walls. The dim lifeless room sucks all emotions out of me. Everything has felt wrong ever since Nicks accident. I got used to the days that he'd return to the dorm and I'd just watch him. I watch him silently read while I pretend to be asleep. I watch him step in and out of the shower. I picture his masculine beautiful body. Well I really am lonely if I'm thinking about the guy I "hate". 

My eyes are exhausted looking at the same surroundings for an inordinately long time. I have to do something, be something... but what? 

A new day has dawned and I haven't slept at all. It seems like time is flying by for everyone else, while I feel stuck in the same day, never moving forward. My powers are dangerous to everyone around me whether I hate them or not. I am a ticking bomb that explodes when moved. I'm not sure if I can even live with myself anymore. I think to myself if this would ever occur if I had never lost my powers in the first place, if I had control. I don't want to face the stares and whispers again. I feel ashamed from my actions. I am an embarrassment to myself, I can already tell what the whispers will say, "Look at her! The heartless girl who nearly killed 2 people!" echoes in my cerebrum. This room suffocates me, I need to get out, I want to get out. 

I have no other choice but to face Kai, even if I'm not in the right state of mind. 

I get dressed and leave the room that sucks the life out of me. I look and feel disarray. My life is quite frankly, in shambles. I duck my head facing the ground as I walk the murmuring hallways, I'm legitimately a social pariah. I decide to skip breakfast, there is nothing more humiliating than to sit alone in a room filled with groups of friends happily living their carefree lives. At this point I'm drowning in depression. I feel no emotion, no sadness, anger, happiness, or anything. My heart is being tugged down by a massive burden, my throat chokes on my own breath, my face shows no color. 

I sit alone in an untenanted hallway. Time flies by and the fire that was once burning in me had been put out. I toy with my fingers and count my breaths until I hear heavy footsteps thump on the marble floor. I look up to see who it is and it's- "Kai." I'm not ready to speak to him. I'm not ready to look at him. I'm not ready to face him. I attempt to pick myself up and walk off but Kai pulls me to stop, "Not to fast!" he exclaims. "Kai- I'm really not in a good place right now, can we please talk later-" "Cut the sad shit, Victoria. I haven't spoke you in days and if you don't actually have feelings for me that's fine but you don't have to avoid me and leave me feeling like shit-" "NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU!" I snap. "GOSH, KAI, I HAVE HAD THE WORST FEW DAYS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. I NEARLY KILLED 2 PEOPLE AND THAT CRAP DOES SOMETHING TO SOMEONE." I start to feel my breath vanish, I begin to feel light headed and lose my balance, my eyes shut as I sense myself drop to the ground.

I make-out faint screams of my name as the light vanishes.