Forevermore

The popsicle

As I lay on the sticky grass, my sister is next to me pointing at the clouds that look like funny shapes and animals. The sky is a deep blue, the air is warm and humid. In the distance, sounds of lawnmowers owned by our neighbors are going, It's one of the hottest summer days of the year. When I sit up, I notice the sticky popsicle mess I made earlier, and annoyed I begin my way to the house that we shared with our grandparents. Before I walk in, I hear my mom yell at my dad; and I pause. Something shatters. My parents argue sometimes, but lately it feels like everyday.

"Vada come here I think mommy and daddy are fighting again.." I say while waving my hands to my little sister. She gets up slowly, waddling over.
"Why?" She goes on her tiptoes to try and see through the sunroom window into the house, and i do the same. Mommy's crying again.

"Mommy? Mommy why are you crying?" My sister opens the door, strutting into the house to console our mom. I see blood, and glass on the ground. Giving my mom a puzzled look, she wipes her tears and stands up.
"Mommy accidentally dropped a cup from the tall cabinets. It really hurt, but mommy's okay. Watch out for the broken glass okay?" My mom says with shaking hands, carrying a dust pan full of what once was a cup to the trash.

I begin walking to our room, to change my shirt before I go ask my best friend Evan to swim with us. Grandpa and grandma won't be home until the country club is over, hopefully that means we get pasta for dinner.
When I come back into the kitchen, Vada sits on the counter eating another popsicle while my mom wipes her arm off.

Her blonde hair falls softly on her shoulders, and clashes with her face like an angel.
"Cmon Vada let's go ask Evan to play!" Vada jumps off the counter, and we run to get our sandals on and run to his house.
"Please be careful girls, look both ways and you know what streets you can't cross without permission. Roxie, hold Vadas hand okay?" My mommy says while she kisses me on the forehead, and hands me a popsicle to take with us.
Evan was only one street over, and we skipped the whole way there, i made sure not to make a new mess on my clean shirt beforehand.

As we come back, we're swimming in the pool playing Marco Polo. It's beginning to get dark outside and finally it will cool down, and the sky will turn pretty pink and orange like every night. I hope Evan can have a sleepover with us if we pretend we forgot the time, i hope mommy will let us.

"Come on guys, it's time to eat. I made mac and cheese for you all" my mom comes out with 3 towels, and waits for us to dry off before we go inside.
After dinner, we beg our mom to let Evan stay for a sleepover, and it works. Evan waits in me and Vada's room while we change out of our swimsuits and put our towels in the laundry room.

I take the towels and head into the living room, where my dad lays with 4 beer bottles next to him, working on his fifth.
"Roxie, come here" I don't want to. My dad scares me when he yells at mommy.
"Roxie get the fuck over here I'm not asking you"
I put my eyes to the floor and slowly walk over to his chair.
"Rox, did you take daddy's keys and money? You know I won't be mad at you. You know I love you right?"
I shake my head no, too scared to say anything.

"Rox, when someone talks to you; you fuckin respond you little brat" he grabs my wrist, hard. I feel hot tears pour down my cheeks, I don't want him to yell at me.
"Fine! If you didn't take it, I guess I'll punish Vada. Both of you are selfish brats" he begins to stand up, towering over me.
"N-no daddy I took it" I can feel my heartbeat in my throat.

He turns his head, and slaps me, hard. It burns my cheek, but before I can fully react, he grabs my wrists and yells at me, I can't help but to cry.

"David get your hands off her before I call the police again" my mom stands in the doorway, with her eyes on my dad. He lets go and pushes me to the side, I go to where mommy is and hide behind her.
"What are you gonna do Alice? Cry again to the police about the abuse you're making up?" 
She takes a step back, and I run upstairs.

Before I close the door, I hear something fall, and my mommy yells at my dad.

I wake up sweating, I guess it was another nightmare, where I wake myself up by screaming. Sitting up in my bed, I look at the clock on my phone. May 19. I remind myself I'm not a kid anymore, my dad is gone. I wipe the sweat off my forehead as I feel my heart slow down. I wonder when these nightmares will stop.

I go to the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror, it feels like I don't know this person anymore. My black hair isn't mine, nor the hazel eyes that stare back at me either. I splash cold water on my face, before reaching behind the mirror to grab some sleeping pills. I take 2, before forcing myself to go back to sleep, hoping I won't have another nightmare.