traded my life [TWD]

『41』

I stand up and grab her arm, jerking her to the kitchen.

"Don't you dare tell me what I should or shouldn't do," she demands in a whisper. "Especially not now!"

"Is this not a wake-up call to you?" I question, hating that I was still crying.

"A wake-up call? My son almost died today!" she hisses.

"And Shane and I stopped that from happening," I remind. "Lori, you need to tell Rick the truth! He doesn't deserve this! Rick or Carl. Just please, tell him."

"Why aren't you telling Shane this? Why not breathe down his back the way you have been to me?"

"Because you are Rick's wife and he should hear it from your lips. If you ever really loved him, you would tell him and fix things. Or tell him and let him move on."

She shakes her head and crosses her arms defensively. I wipe the tears from my eyes and try to breathe.

"Jenner.." I name, already hating that I couldn't take it back.

"Jenner?" she repeats.

I look around to make sure we weren't being listened to.

"Jenner said that one of the women in our group is pregnant," I reveal. "And I.. it's between you and Carol."

Lori's eyes widen at the secret.

"Carol is in a delicate state right now. But, if you just take a test, it'll lower the options. If it's not you, it's her. But, she is stressed so I wouldn't ask her to take a test when her only child is currently missing and-"

"And my only child is currently in surgery after being shot! How is it fair that you make me do this? Am I not in a delicate state?"

"I don't know!" I snap, making her flinch. I pace a few steps and attempt to gather myself. My voice drops to a whisper again. "I don't know, okay?"

"How would Jenner know?" she wonders, looking off in the distance.

"Those blood tests he made us take," I recall. "That's all I can think of. Pregnancies can show up on there. He must've seen the signs when going through the tests."

Lori covers her mouth with both of her hands.

"You need to take the test. And positive or negative.. that means you need to tell Rick and we need to figure this out. A baby in this world is dangerous. We either need to stop it or protect it."

Lori turns around. She runs her hand through her hair. I could see that the stress was catching up to her. Now, she was getting a taste of what I'd been dealing with.

"I just.." Lori pauses. "I just told Rick that.."

My face scrunches in confusion. "What?"

"Carl. I told.. I told Rick that maybe Carl shouldn't.." she pauses, unable to keep speaking.

I try to survey the situation, but I was still coming up with nothing.

"You said it yourself. Kids in this world is dangerous," she says.

My body jolts in realization.

"You.. You told Rick that it would be best if Carl died?" I suspect.

Lori closes her eyes.

Another blinding rage overcomes me. Before I knew it, I had my hand wrapped in the collar of Lori's shirt and pinned her back against the wall.

"So, if it is me.. We need to get rid of it," Lori whispers, close to my face.

I tremble with anger.

"Because I can't go through this again," she denies.

My jaw pops as I clench it tighter than ever. I close my eyes. Breathe. Breathe. Don't make things worse than they already are. Carl was still in surgery. Sophia is missing. Lori might even be pregnant.

I slowly release her shirt. My hands draw to her face and she cowers into herself and the wall. I exhale sharply and slap my hand against the wall beside her face.

"Figure it out," I demand.

I push myself away from her and storm out the backdoor.