London, once blue, now red

Carrots

I walk towards my cubby, sitting between Beth and Steph. I can't help but smile as I watch my new teammates and family talk and interact with each other. I can't wait to get to know everyone more personally and become a more significant part of this family.We started training, which went way smoother than my first training session. I have never felt this good while training in a long time, and I hope my confidence shows as I want to be in the starting line-up for our next game against Aston Villa.Training had finished, and I couldn't be happier with my performance. I felt like I was on top of the world until I realised we had to go to lunch. It's not that I don't want to eat; it's just that sometimes I can't, especially when I am stressed, but what makes it worse is when people say something I hate when people notice something is wrong. I like to keep everything to myself because if I can't fix it myself, then no one can. I sit in my cubby, contemplating my choices. I could go and sit at a table and say I'm not hungry and that I will eat at home later and be questioned about it, get food and sit at a table and eat a little and be questioned about it, or I could just leave when everyone has left the changing room and sneak out without anyone seeing me and they question me later. I am honestly considering number three, as it gives me more time to devise a viable excuse. I do want to shower, though, before I leave, I could just take my time and wait for everyone to leave for lunch. I take a shower and come back to get changed, I sit back in my cubby to put my shoes on, and everyone is still in here. People move really slowly here. I start to do everything extra slowly, giving myself more time waiting for everyone to leave.

Steph C: "Isla."Steph C: "Isla."Isla: "Yeah, sorry, Steph, what's up."Steph: "I was just saying you have to sit with Beffy and I at lunch."Isla: "Ohhhh, I don't know. I don't feel that good. I thought I might skip lunch and go home." I say, looking at my feet, I hate lying, but I really don't want to eat right now. I think I am just too stressed for the game this weekend.Suddenly I feel a hand on my forehead, I look up to see those beautiful blue eyes and just feel mesmerised. How could I be so in love with someone I have just met? I will never know.Leah: "What's wrong? Why do you think you are sick? You are a little warm, not too bad, maybe have some Panadol." she says in one sentence.Isla: "Wow, Leah, it's okay. I just don't feel 100%, but I'm fine."Leah: "I think eating something would help; maybe you are just hungry. We did just train for three hours."Isla: "I don't know, Leah, I'm not that hungry."Leah: "Will you come to lunch anyways and try to eat a little."Isla: "Okay, but only because Beffy and Steffy said I could sit with them." I say in a kind of sarcastic tone.Beth: "You should feel privileged; we don't usually let anyone sit between us; you are lucky." she says. I can't help but laugh at her statement.Isla: "Yeah, I am really lucky; thanks, Beth." I say while letting out a chuckle and rolling my eyes.We all head towards the lunchroom, engaging in light chatter until I suddenly can't move. Some of the teams are already sitting and eating, and I can't help but look at the line of food set out for us to pick from; I feel like I could be sick.Leah: "Come on, Isla." she says as she grabs my hand, dragging me into the line and passing me a plate. I walk along, looking at all the food, not sure what to get; it all makes me feel sick. I am way too worked up to eat any of this. I reach the end of the table of food, and as I go to walk away, I feel a hand grab my wrist.Leah: "You need to eat something. What do you want."Isla: "No, it's okay. I don't think I could stomach anything." I say.Leah: "Thomas can cook you something else if you want." She says, pointing towards the team's chef.Thomas: "Yeah, I can make you something else if you want."Isla: "Okay, do you have any carrots."Thomas: "Yeah, we have carrots." He says curiously.Isla: "Okay, could I just get two carrots, please."Thomas: "Do you want me to cook them with something or cut them or peel them." He speaks.Isla: "No, it's okay. I just want some carrots." I say with a shrug.Thomas: "Okay." He says as she walks towards the fridge, grabbing me two carrots and placing them on my plate.Isla: "Thanks, Thomas." I say as I look around, trying to find Beth and Step. I finally manage to find them at a table in the back corner. I take a seat in between Beth and Steph as it is my biggest honour, apparently. I looked at the other girls at the table: Leah, Viv, Caitlin, and Katie. I look at the two carrots on my plate. I have to eat these, or people will think something is up. It's already weird. I had just carrots on my plate.

~ Flashback ~

"Mum, I can't eat this. I don't feel well," I say. We had just come home from school after they asked my mum to pick me up as I had a high temperature. "I put in all this effort to cook for you, and you won't even eat it." She says, throwing her hands in the air. "Can you save it for later, mum? I just feel too sick to eat right now." "I don't care how sick you are; you are being rude and ungrateful. I put in all this effort, and you can't even appreciate it." She says, slamming her hands against the kitchen table in front of me. "I'm so sorry, Mum; I do appreciate it; I just feel like I could throw up." "Are you saying my food could make you throw up and that it's disgusting?" She says sternly. "No, I just don't think I could stomach it right now; I'm sorry, mum," I say. Suddenly, I feel a burst of pain spread across my right cheek. "I will hit you again if you don't leave my sight right now, and I'm not saving this food; you can starve; I don't care." She speaks. I quickly pick all my stuff up and sprint up the stairs and into my room, throwing myself into the bed and shoving my head into my pillow, muffling my cries and falling asleep. I woke up to my stomach grumbling; I decided to go downstairs and see if we had any food. I carefully walked through the hall and down the stairs, following a path that avoided every creak, as I didn't want my parents to find out. I opened the fridge and saw some carrots. I decided to grab two and head back upstairs. I always liked carrots when I wasn't feeling well; they reminded me of Millie. She used to always peel me one as a snack for after school when she used to pick me up. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if she was still at home, but I know she is having fun at Chelsea, and I don't want to worry about her, I think to myself. I ate the two carrots and then went back to sleep, hoping my mum didn't leave a mark on my face as I didn't want to make up some excuse for why I had a mark there.

~ Flashback over~

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Sorry for taking so long i am hoping to get back into the rhythm of writing, just whenever i go to write i always end up getting distracted. But besides that sorry for taking so long and i hope this chapter is alright.