The Devil Doesn't Bargain (MatD part 2)

Chapter THIRTY FOUR - I'm Home

"-but you don't want to ask the most dazzling Slytherin you've ever laid eyes on to leave?"

I smiled and nodded again.

"I'm flattered." He tipped his chin down as best he could and pressed a small kiss to my forehead. "You know... I'll be as quiet as a Demiguise while you work-"

"-I just... won't be able to concentrate if you're here." I swallowed, quickly trying to grasp the sliver of opportunity. I kissed his neck again. "You distract me. And I'm sure I distract you too."

Not entirely a lie. 

What a cruel manipulation lust is.

Sebastian hummed. "You have no idea what you do to me sweetheart." He tilted my chin up and pressed his lips to mine. 

The sting in my heart my only tug to finally pull away again.

----

Our clothes returned over our bones and the heat of our skin finally cooled, Sebastian pressed one final kiss to my head, the stones already shifting into the doorway once more.

"Don't stay up too late sweetheart. Can't have you getting smarter than me." He hugged me tighter, his words brushing the shell of my ear, a whisper. "I love you."

And then he was gone.

Bricks piled in place. The final click of stone seeming to whip louder and deeper than I'd heard it before - sealed impossibly tight.

I was alone.

I could feel my hands shaking, my bones bracing and the cold weighted metal of the necklace kissing my collarbone in absence of Sebastian's lips.

With hasty, hurried, fumbling fingers I pulled the necklace from its noose, worried that if I waited a moment longer my courage would crumble and I'd be left to the danger and exposure of my chaos around those I loved.

Thumbing through my bag and shoving aside stacks of books I pulled my wand and cleared a space at the center of the room, a hardened place to dig my heels inwards. 

Something thrummed in my chest an unidentifiable tangle of emotions clinging to my every breath. 

Anxious?

Excited?

Sad?

Terrified?

Angry?

The tip of my wand shook harder as I placed it to the delicate skin between my collarbones, the hard familiarity of my wand digging painfully into my palm as I held it firm. My left hand out at my hip, necklace clutched between whitened knuckles.

In an attempt to calm my pounding heart and ease the unstable trembling, I counted as I had so often done to ease my terrors at the beginning of the year.

One table

three pillows

ten candles to my right

two near my feet

Over and over I counted, focusing in on my breathing

ignoring the ache

ignoring the emotions.

I let instinct take over, let the warmth of my magic trickle up my veins and rip apart my lungs as it wound its way to my fingers, under my nails and between the splinters of wood in my hand.

I allowed myself one shaky breath in

and then I began.

Flickers of two nights danced at the tip of my wand.