The Black Knight of Ashfern

Chapter 22

"No, not this morning." Nan shook her head, her smile tight as she answered. "I find I am not so much in the mood for his company at the moment." She remarked, her eyes cast to the floor, and his words echoed back through her head. She should not have been as surprised by his words as she had been, but given that he had spoken them to Jamie and not to her alone, she found she was furious with him.

There were several very good reasons Nan had never taken up whoring to earn her way, and while she had made it sound as though her pride was the issue. It had far more to do with Jamie and his history than it had to do with Nan's inability to willingly comply with a man's desires. So when she told Jamie they were staying, she left the why and how of it out. Now, she doubted she would have any choice but to tell him when he asked. And she feared what he would think of her when he did.

Jamie had an image of her, she knew, that was far stronger than she was, and she had never let him think otherwise. She'd never had any cause to let him think otherwise. And now she dreaded the prospect that he would no longer see her as the strong woman who would love and protect him no matter what. Sir William's thoughtless words could cast doubt upon that notion as he had made her sound like a woman who'd sold herself to the Black Knight for a more comfortable life. 

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Nan had been working for hours, mindlessly crushing, rolling, and mixing her brews. She labeled and listed what she had made, what she would need, and what the concoctions were for. She was trying desperately to rid her mind of the thoughts that had been plaguing her all morning. And the fact that she had not seen Jamie since Sir William had tossed him from his room that morning was doing little to settle her nerves.

When she heard Jamie's shrill voice shouting her name, Nan froze in fear for the reason he was shouting. Several terrible possibilities rushed to the forefront of her mind, though when she saw him and the look of joy on his face as he ran past the widows of her workroom, the fear was quickly replaced with confusion.

"Nan! Nan! Nan!" he yelled as he burst into her workroom, not stopping his chant even when Nan turned to face him with a perplexed frown as she took in the sight of her gleeful boy. Mindlessly wiping her hands on the filthy apron wrapped around her waist.

"Jamie, what is it?" she asked, staring down at the happy child who had latched onto her hand and was now dragging her out of her workroom, through the kitchen, out the backdoor, and around to the small courtyard where the stables were kept.

"You have to come see. You have to come and see what Sir William got me!" Jamie said over and over with a massive smile on his little face as he dragged Nan behind him. All the while, the words 'what Sir William got me' echo through her head like a foreign phrase she was supposed to know. She had no idea what astounded her more, that Jamie was thrilled with whatever Sir William had chosen to gift her boy or that Sir William had given something to Jamie at all.

Nan knew quite well Sir William's feelings for her child. She knew he was not fond of the boy and had no love for him, and she did not demand that he did. Their arrangement had been for Jamie's care on his part. She had never required or requested Sir William be affectionate toward the active and very vocal child she loved more than anything. Still, it surprised her that now he chose to give him a gift when he had tossed Jamie from his room only that morning.

Jamie released Nan's hand only a few feet from Sir William's coach which was covered in mud and had obviously been used recently. Sir William stood with his back to her, the black of his coat and hat making him look far more intimating from behind than she had ever found him to be upfront. His head moved occasionally as he spoke with his Stable Master, a hand idly stroking the black neck of the horse he stood next to. It wasn't until she noticed it was Sir William that Jamie ran to that her eyes were pulled from the man to the little boy and the scraggliest looking puppy she had ever seen dangling from his tiny hands with a ragged little tail wagging happily between its legs.