End Of The Beginning

Off Day

Jessie knocked on Niamh's apartment door with her suitcase by her side. Niamh opened the door, the apartment still smelling like lavender scent. It felt strange for Jessie to be back at this tiny apartment she once shared with Niamh. Jessie noticed that the bedroom she once slept in was still empty and then she saw the Fleming jersey pinned against the wall.

"Is that my jersey?" said Jessie. Pointing to the wall.

"Oh, yeah there was still a spare jersey from when you were giving them away. I thought I would keep one just in case."

Jessie smiled at this. Jessie appreciated that Niamh kept something for her even after she hurt her. Jessie was moving her stuff into the room she once slept in when Niamh stopped her.

"I don't have any extra sheets since you took them. I thought you could just stay in my room and I would take the couch."

"No, we can share a bed."

"Are you sure?"

Jessie wasn't sure. But she knew she just wanted to be close to Niamh after all this time apart.

"Yes, I am sure."

The next couple of days they fell into a rhythm like they used to do. Jessie cooked the meals and Niamh cleaned up. Jessie went back to the places she used to go with Niamh. Jessie and Niamh bought a couple of records to bring back to the apartment. When they got back to the apartment Niamh put on The Lumineers for background noise. Niamh talked about the new Chelsea environment and how Sonia Bompastor reminded her of Emma. Jessie talked about her life in Portland. Jessie said she was one of Janine's bridesmaid and would be wearing a suit to the wedding that was coming up. Jessie needed a plus one, but thought about taking her sister Elyse. Jessie almost was about to ask Niamh to be her plus one, but remembered her rule of not getting too close to Niamh. While they may have slept in the same bed it took a lot of restraint for Jessie not to cuddle up next to Niamh until the last night Jessie was in London.

Niamh has loved having Jessie here with her again. Niamh knew Jessie was putting up boundaries because each time Niamh got close to her, Jessie would retreat and act like nothing was happening. Niamh brought out shot glasses for the two of them. Niamh wanted Jessie to loosen up.

"We're gonna celebrate becoming friends again" said Niamh. Handing Jessie a tequila shot.

Jessie knew this might be a bad idea, but it was her last night here.

"To us." Jessie and Niamh raised their shot glasses and drank. Niamh and Jessie finished the bottle. The both of them were laughing as Jessie tried to learn a Tik Tok dance. Jessie was beginning to feel dizzy so she went to the kitchen to grab the waters to rehydrate. When Jessie came back she gave Niamh a bottle of water. Jessie couldn't stop thinking about how much she wanted to kiss Niamh. 

Jessie did the boldest move she could think of and kissed Niamh. Niamh was surprised and pulled back. Niamh looked Jessie in the eyes and saw how much Jessie wanted her. Niamh leaned back in and passionately kissed Jessie. Jessie felt Niamh's lips on hers. Jessie tasted the tequila. Jessie craved for more. Niamh led Jessie back to the bedroom and pushed her onto the bed. Niamh then took off her shirt and pants. Jessie looked in awe of Niamh. All she could think of was how beautiful she is and how much she wanted to explore her body. Jessie got up and grabbed Niamh, slowly kissing her neck. Jessie then found Niamh's lips again and devoured her. The rest was history.  

The next morning Jessie found herself with the biggest hangover. Jessie looked next to her and saw a peaceful naked Niamh still sleeping. Jessie then remembered what took place last night.

"Shit" Jessie said under her breath.

Niamh woke up. Worried.

"Are you okay?"

Jessie put her hands on her face.

"This wasn't supposed to happen." Gesturing about the two of them.

Niamh became upset by this statement. Niamh thought not again. After everything that happened between them and finally letting go, Jessie was inside her head again.

"Why are you so afraid of us happening? I haven't felt this way about anyone until you came a long. If I remember correctly you were the one to kiss me first."

"It was a mistake. We were drunk. I'm going back to America today" panicked Jessie.

"Don't you see this can never work" said Jessie.

Niamh looked so defeated. Jessie saw Niamh's changed expression and immediately regretted what she said.

Niamh calmly looked at Jessie and said, "You need to leave." Niamh got up off the bed and went to the bathroom. Niamh locked the door so Jessie couldn't open it and cried. Jessie heard Niamh crying and it broke her heart. Jessie got dressed and then packed up her things to go to the airport. After an hour in the bathroom Niamh unlocked the door and saw Jessie's things were gone. Jessie left again with no note of apolgizing.

Life went back to normal as if nothing happened between Jessie and Niamh. They were back to square one. Ash and Keish noticed Niamh looking extra sad this week. 

"How was it with Jflem?"asked Ash.

Niamh sobbed on the spot. Ash and Keish both hugged her. Ash and Keish thought these two finally made up as Jessie told them they were hanging out before Jessie had to go back.

"We slept together. Then Jessie freaked out and said it was a mistake. I told her to leave" said Niamh. 

Both Ash and Keish were shocked. This wasn't like Jessie. If sides were starting to form they would be on Niamh's. Ash and Keish decided to tell Janine what was going and to make sure Jessie was okay.

Janine got a text from Ash saying to check on Jessie. This worried Janine. Janine loves Jessie, but sometimes she wants to hit her and tell her to get out of her own head. Janine's seen this side of Jessie before only with football though. Janine goes over to Jessie's apartment.

Janine knocks on Jessie's door. Nothing. Janine tries the door handle and sees that its unlocked. Janine steps in and hollers "Hello." Silence.

"Jessie, Are you here?"

Janine hears a loud bang coming from the kitchen. Janine runs into the kitchen to see Jessie smashing plates and sobbing. Janine goes to Jessie and holds her while the small girl nestles her head into Janine's chest, crying. Janine and Jessie take a seat at the kitchen table. Janine waits for Jessie to say something.

"I hurt her again, Janine."

Janine nods. "I know. Ash and Keish told me."

"I have a therapist that might be able to help you if you're up for it" said Janine.

"I want to figure this out so I can be better for her. What's the name?"

"Kate Brand."