End Of The Beginning

Hurt

Jessie is moving to Portland in a couple of days and she hasn't told her roommate Niamh. Jessie secretly has already started packing. There were rumors about the move, but nothing official. Jessie talked to Emma Hayes about the move and she thought it was a great idea. Emma said "We'll miss you. You have been a tremendous player to coach." Emma would then drop Jessie from the squad completely. Monday would be the last day to say goodbye to everyone at Cobham. The thing is Niamh still doesn't know Jessie is leaving. Niamh's heard the rumors but those were just rumors to her. Niamh surely thought Jessie would say something to her. Niamh had to make an emergency trip back home so she wouldn't be at training for Jessie's last day. Niamh was surprised to get back to an empty apartment when she came back. Niamh called out "Jessie, Are you here?" Nothing. Silence. Niamh walked into Jessie's room and saw that it was empty. Surely there would be a note explaining all of this, but there wasn't. Niamh called Sam. She knew Jessie and Sam were close. 

"Hey Sam. Have you seen Jessie?" asked Niamh.

"Did Jessie not tell you she transferred to Portland?"

Sam sighed. Sam knew she was going to call Jessie and get on her for not telling Niamh. Sam tried to convince Jessie to tell Niamh before she left, but Jessie shrugged it off. 

"No. What did I do?" cried Niamh.

"You did nothing. I'm sure she wanted to tell you but just didn't know how to." Sam remembered a conversation with Jessie when she told her she was moving.

"I'm leaving Chelsea" said Jessie.

"Oh. How did Niamh take it?" asked Sam.

"I haven't told her." Jessie shrugged.

"Jessie you need to tell her. She's your best friend. Also you live together don't you think she'll notice."

"I can't. This is the best way to part. I'd rather have her be mad at me than to face her."

"Why is that?"

"You know why."

"I want you to say it."

"It's because I'm in love with her. We've been getting closer ever since we became roommates and this move will disrupt that. I can't see her cry or I'll change my mind."

Niamh went on social media to confirm that Jessie did leave Chelsea and learned that Jessie had said goodbye today.Niamh tried to call Jessie, but it went to voicemail. Niamh left a message. "Why didn't you tell me? I understand why you're moving. I wish you would've just let me in. I think I may have loved you, but... Please just call me." Sobbed Niamh.

Jessie listened to that voicemail. Heartbroken that Niamh was hurting, but so was Jessie. Jessie got a call from Sam. Sam chewed her out, but understood and continued to be a friend. It got to the point that Niamh called almost everyday until it slowly stopped. Niamh's last voicemail said "Hey, I'm sorry to keep calling you. This will be my last time. Jessie, I don't know what happened to us, but I'm done trying. I wish things were different. Don't try to contact me if you wan't to apologize. I won't accept it. I need to get over you. Goodbye, Forever, Jessie."

Jessie knew now she can never go back to the way things were. Maybe one day Jessie will regret what she did, but for now she thinks this was for the best. No matter how many times Sam and Janine try to call her out. Jessie has never been in a serious relationship before. Jessie can recall her first college relationship with a girl from her environmental science class, Emma. Emma was nice and smart. She didn't understand football. It was a good change for Jessie, but it never got serious the way Emma wanted it too. Jessie was always gone for football. Football came first, then it was family, and finally Emma. Jessie would soon leave for Chelsea making it long distance so Emma broke things off which Jessie understood. Jessie also knew she couldn't give Emma the attention she needed. This reminded her of why she had to cut ties with Niamh. Jessie didn't think she was good enough for her. Jessie believed she couldn't give Niamh what she wanted.

Janine and Jessie were grabbing coffee at Good Coffee. Janine wanted to make sure that Jessie was settling in nicely. As Janine was grabbing coffee, Janine's phone went off. Niamh was calling Janine. Jessie didn't even know Niamh had Janine's phone number. Janine walked up with two coffee's a shaken espresso and an oat milk latte. Janine saw Jessie's concerned face.

"What's wrong?" Then Janine noticed her phone going off.

"Niamh's calling" said Jessie.

"I can explain."

"I didn't know you two were friends."

"She's worried about you, Jeff. She messaged me a while back on insta and then I gave her my number. I only tell her that you are doing fine."

"She wants nothing to do with me. I got her last message."

"Do you really believe that? Niamh's just done reaching out to you personally. It doesn't mean she's not keeping tabs on you. You do know she asks Ash and Keish about you each time national camps happen right?"

Jessie sat there taking it all in. Niamh still cared about her even after all that she's done to push her away. Jessie can't think like that right now because it's going to make her want to reach out and explain herself. Janine can see how tortured Jessie is by this. Janine leans over and gives Jessie a hug.

"I'm here for you."

Jessie appreciates Janine's gesture. Janine is Jessie's long time friend who understands her more than she would care to admit. Janine knows Jessie is afraid to open up. Janine knew Jessie and Niamh have always been close, but recently it became more once they moved in together. Janine knew Jessie was quite smitten by the blonde and blue eyed girl from the moment they first met. Janine remembers Jessie telling her how Niamh took her under her wing. 

"How's Chelsea treating you?"

"It's been good I met the other new signee, Niamh. She actually reminds me of you, but louder." laughed Jessie.

Janine playfully hit the younger gal. 

"I hope I don't have to compete to be your best friend."

Jessie shrugged. "Who knows?"

As the years went on the meaning of their friendship deepened. Niamh could get Jessie out of her shell. Niamh annoyed Jessie when she was trying to read on away trips. Most people knew Jessie as quiet and reserved, but when she was with Niamh that all changed. Jessie was the loudest. You can hear her laughing on the pitch before games. Niamh and Jessie had a tradition of walking onto the pitch together before games. Niamh and Jessie were each others travel buddies. New players knew quickly when they sat in the wrong seat as that was Jessie's and Niamh's spot. Jessie confessed to Janine that she liked Niamh more than as a friend on a drunken night, but was scared Niamh didn't like her back.

Niamh was hurt by Jessie's actions. Niamh cried for two weeks until she had enough. Niamh knew Jessie doesn't use social media so she knew she was safe from seeing what she was up to daily. Niamh remembered Sam telling her that Jessie was scared of facing the truth about them. Niamh knew she was madly in love with Jessie. Niamh tried to show Jessie ways of how much she cared for her and loved her without saying it. When they moved in together Niamh would go into Jessie's room and borrow her iron to iron out her shirts. Jessie would cook the meals and Niamh would clean up. Niamh loved movie nights in their apartment. They would cuddle up in the living room. Niamh was vulnerable towards Jessie. She would tell her about her goals and her greatest fears. Niamh thought they would have more time to finally explore the love they had for each other. Maybe that's why Jessie left Niamh thought. Maybe it was because of her. Niamh did the best she could. Niamh reached out to Janine and stayed in touch. Niamh trusted Janine not to say anything to Jessie. Niamh got feedback from Ash and Keish each time they returned from National duty. Niamh saw Jessie's goodbye post. Niamh was surprised to be in it considering Jessie never said goodbye to her. This felt like this was the end of them. Or is it?