THE DEGREE OF HAPPINESS

11

N.B: Physical and verbal abuse. Mention of self-harm.

My ear rang as Ammaty slapped me again. My hair fell over my face, curtaining my gaze from seeing my mom fully.

Was she mad? Was she happy? Why was she so silent?

Allah, please help me.

Ammaty grabbed my ear, "Who are you seeing, huh? Which boy? Is it the one next door? Tell me!"

"I see no one, Ammaty, " I said, tears streaming down my stinging cheeks, "No one!"

"Are you sure? Then why did you fail, Elizha?" she asked, "A boy is definitely involved in this. We have requested you so many times to not see boys till you get successful at least. And this is what you do? You overconfident little brat!"

She slapped me across the face again.

Allah, I am so sorry for lying. But please help me! Please!

"And you even lie! You liar! Who taught you to lie like this? Oh, a boy is definitely involved in this. Tell me who that boy is. "

She slapped me so hard that I fell on the seat. I looked at my mom. She was staring at everything silently. Emotions were there, yes. Sadness, hurt, flinching.

But no signs of protest. She would just see today. Not do anything. The way she always did when Ammaty would punish me like this.

"Who is the boy?" Ammaty asked. She curled her manicured fingers around my throat, "Who is it? Who is it that has destroyed my brother's daughter? Who is it that ruined her result? Who is it that taught her to lie about her result?"

"I swear on Allah, I am not in a relationship of any... "

Ammaty slapped me again.

"Please, Ammaty..."

"So, you won't tell. You would much rather your future be ruined for that boy? Its the boy next door, isn't it?"

"No, not Soroush. Never Soroush!"

"Then WHO THE FUCK IS HE?"

"NO ONE!" I yelled. "NO ONE! I AM JUST WEAK IN CHEMISTRY AND...."

She pushed me to the floor. My elbow hit the wall hard and I curled up into a ball, crying.

"My brother's child cannot be weak, Elizha! You have played around and we have said nothing!"

"Ammaty, please... I am sorry." I pleaded.

Allah, please. Please help me.

"But enough playing around Elizha Hashmi. From now on, you will do exactly as I say. And there will be no questions. No protests."

She grabbed me by the collar of my T-shirt and flung me to my room.

"Mom, please... " I finally called.

My mom looked down at her shoes, saying nothing.

Ammaty closed the door and locked it from the outside.

"How could you let this happen, Faiza?" Ammaty asked aloud as I heard. "How?"

"It was a mistake on my part," My mother said, "I didn't know my daughter would get so out of hand. Now, I don't think I can ever trust her again, after what she did."

"Truly. This is your mistake, Faiza! It looks like I will have to reign her in for you."

"Please do. I do not want her to end up like a failure. If she is with a boy as you suspect then, then.... Oh my Elizha!"