These Broken Roads

Chapter 15: Guilt

~Natalie~

"It's snowing Nat!"

I looked out from the doorway from the house to see my brother smiling at me. I pulled the new coat that daddy got me, tighter around me. Nate had his bright red snow boots on and a dalmatian snow coat. He was giggling and throwing the snow up, the white powder decorated his hair.

"Come on Natalie." Nate giggled.

I ran out to join my brother and giggled as well. He threw a snowball at me and I stuck my tongue out at him. I grabbed some snow, packed it into a small ball, and then threw it at him, hitting him in the chest.

He brushed off the snow and frowned.

I smiled smugly at him as I bent down to make another snowball. When I stood back up a flying white object hit me in my face. My entire face was freezing. I immediately dropped the snow in my hands and started to cry.

"I'm so sorry Natalie." Nate came closer trying to brush the snow away from my face. "Shh."

"What did you do Nathan?" Daddy's voice boomed, with a slam of the porch door. "Why is your sister crying?"

"I didn't mean it." Nate said. "I threw it too high."

I heard the crunching of snow under Daddy's boots. I opened my eyes to see Daddy grab Nate by the arm and led him into the house. I smiled happily, knowing Nate would get in trouble for making me cry.

Maybe no desserts for a week? No TV?

I began making snow angels. After a few I realized Nate hadn't come back out I decided to go find him. Also I was getting cold.

I headed inside and stripped my coat and boots hanging them up to dry, just like Mommy said to do. I saw Nate's jacket on the floor and shook my head, hanging it up next to mine.

I saw Daddy in the den watching TV with a bottle in his hand.

"Daddy, why didn't Nate come back out?" I asked walking over to him.

"He was punished." Daddy said, not looking at me. "He's up in his room, cleaning it."

So that was his punishment. Cleaning.

I headed upstairs to Nate's room, but stopped when I heard crying. I was confused, cleaning isn't so bad. Why was he crying?

"Nate!" I said in a sing-song voice and opened the door. "You don't have to cry, I'll help you-"

I stopped. Nate was sitting in the middle of the floor, with his shirt off, red and black bruises scattered all over his back. When he turned to me I gasped. His one eye was red and puffy.

"I'll go get Daddy." I turned to leave. Surely someone broke in and did this to my brother.

"No!" Nate said huddling in the middle of the floor again. "I'm sorry."

I walked over and sat next to him. "Why are you sorry?"

Nate looked at me, his blue eyes watery. That's when I realized it was Daddy who did this to Nate.

It was the first time that our father hit him. The first time I realized just how different he treated us, and the first time I felt guilty for getting Nate in trouble.

I shivered as the cold air whipped gently against my back. My body wanted to go back inside, but I didn't.

I was no stranger to the darkness. I knew how tightly it can hold you in its grasp. I've been to the darkest parts before, but I made it out. I made it out for Haley and Nate. It breaks my heart to think that Nate wouldn't do the same for me. Nate would rather kill himself than face reality.