Maybe never

Chapter 3

She was drowning in the dark as if she was hanging in the empty void, without any pressure. "I...died?" That only question was haunting her thoughts, but there weren't any answers for it. But then something else appeared in that place. A light... A lamp light. Rin slowly blinked her eyes, she felt very weak and fragile. She wanted to lift her head up, see where she was. She was laying on something soft, tucked in a blanket.

"Oh, you finally woke up? I was getting concerned" she heard a male voice above her head. Rin slowly adapted to her surroundings. "W-who?...W-where?" her voice was very quiet and shaky. She felt somebody putting her to a sitting posture.

"Can you sit by your own strength?" the voice became more clear. Her whole body was trembling, so a mysterious person put her down again. "I see that not yet. And back to your questions... You're in my house, and I kinda kidnapped you" the voice went from empathy to slight awkwardness.

"W-what?!" Rin felt a sudden burst of energy and she sat up on the bed quickly, just to fall down on the materace panting from effort.

"Hey hey hey..." the person held her in place in a calming manner. "Calm down, everything is okay". Rin caught tearing up herself. She was scared of her present situation, the kidnapper could do everything with her in that state. Then when she thought of that, she took a better look at her companion. He was tall, much taller than her. He was wearing black hoodie and sweatpants, but even though they were oversized, Rin could've seen the slight outline of muscled arms, legs and torso. His face was covered by a black material mask. She could've seen his black, messy hair. Rin was thinking if she actually knew this guy, he was looking familiar, but from where. "Who are you?" she asked quietly, hoping the kidnapper won't scold her for that. At her words, he took off his mask, his blue eyes blinked a few times. Rin's mouth hung open, a wave of shock went through her.

"R-Ryota?" she asked quietly, she began to blink confused too. "Hi there...Rin" some kind of awkward smile appeared on his face. "W-what? Why did you-" tears began to appear in her eyes again. "You... were different from others. Always hard-working, agitated to achieve your goals, and always acting as if everything was fine, no matter how overwhelmed or burnt out you were... You could always keep that tiny smile of yours on your face, how?" he tilted his head and looked at her with some kind of curiosity and concern, he began to stroke her hair gently. "H-huh?" Rin was taken aback by his words and gesture. Was it... really that visible? No, no way, he couldn't see the bruises, she was never crying at school, how did he suspect that she was overwhelmed and burnt out? "That's why I kidnapped you... I couldn't stand seeing you breaking down even more and pretending that everything was fine... For some reason I feel some type of bond with you, as if I kinda kin with you, no matter how weird it sounds." he gently puts the strand of her hair behind her ear. Rin was still trembling from being drained and anxious about her current situation, her eyes were following his every movement like an afraid animal who only had its instinct left. The boy noticed it immediately and moved his hand away.

"Are you scared of me?"

Those five words were enough to make Rin on the verge of anxiety and fear. She was scared of his reaction. If she said yes, would he hit her? Would he yell at her? Would he do something inappropriate to her? What if...? She shutted her eyes and prayed to not panic. "Don't get hysterical, Don't get hysterical, Don't get hysterical, Don't..." She felt something soft touching her shoulders. She opened her eyes gently and saw that she was wrapped in a blanket, and that her shoulder was being stroked by Ryota. "Hey..." she hears his voice, even softer than before. "I promise you that nothing bad will happen to you here. I'm here for you, not against you. I want to take care of you and your safety. Please... allow me to do that" he looked at her almost pleadingly. " I don't want to see you getting more and more hurt, I want you to be happy, to see you smile for real. Please..." his strokes were getting even more and more gentle. Rin blinked her eyes a few more times again. Did he? Did he really mean that? She was looking at him with her eyes wide open, but this time not from fear. Some kind of tiny spark appeared in them. "And I... Can I... not go back...there?" she spoke quietly and hesitantly. He looked at her, his smile got warmer. "You're more than welcome to stay here, Rin." she couldn't help but smile gently back at him. Different. He was different from the others, just like her. "T-thank you... thank you.." she teared up again, this time from relief and happiness. It was the happiest moment of her life ever, she was able to not go back to the house she was stuck in for 18 years. Ryota smiled gently and pulled her into a very soft hug, he rubbed her back soothingly. "No need to thank me, Rin. Someone should've done that earlier." The hug was surprising, but she wasn't stiff somehow in it. It wasn't forceful, she could let go whenever she would like to. But then... "Can we... stay like that for a few seconds?" she heard her own voice. It wasn't her, that Rin would pull away after a few seconds and mutter a quiet "thank you". It wasn't her... It was a mistreated, broken child inside her, the child who had to be perfect in every way, not being hugged once by its parents. The child who was forced to grow up too quickly. But this time she didn't mute it, she allowed it to speak. "Of course, Rin" he rubbed her back even more soothingly. Rin closed her eyes and let him do it. She heard him hum something soothing and comforting. Tears slowly dried away, and she just focused on the melody he was humming. After a few minutes Rin let go. "Hugging is nice..." she smiled gently at him. "I know" he nodded his head and brushed her bangs away from her eyes. "How do you feel right now?" he asked. "A... a little tired, but fine." she smiled gently. "Are you hungry, by any chance?"

At those words, she felt her mouth getting watery, she was indeed very hungry, she slowly nodded her head. He chuckled softly "What would you like to eat then?" he asked gently. Rin blinked her eyes a few times again. Oh, he was asking her for what SHE would like? "Erm... up to you, I guess" she smiled gently. Ryota giggled softly and shook his head "no". "Rin, I asked YOU. I can cook you whatever you want, even if I have to go to the shop and buy extra ingredients". She looked at him surprised, no one ever asked her for that, it was new, yet nice to be able to make her own decision. "Do you... do you... have ingredients for the chicken katsu curry? I-it's totally okay if you don't as I said it's up to you..." she waved her hands as quick as her tired state allowed her too. "Oh, guess we're lucky today, because I have all the ingredients to that" he smiled and gently took her hands in his to make her stop overthinking and panicking. His hands were soothing and soft, even though they were quite veiny. "Do you like it more spicy or mild?" he asked her and gently moved his hands away. "Spicy, I would say" she answered quietly and slightly shyly that a boy held her hands. "Sure, then it's gonna be a spicy one!" he grinned. Rin all of sudden felt as if she was lifted up, and indeed, she was. Ryota took her gently in his arms, and still wrapped in a blanket. "O-oh um... I might be too heavy. I can walk myself" she looked down with a soft blush on her cheeks. "Nah, it's fine. You're light as a feather and I can't let you walk by yourself in that fragile state you're in for now." He walked with her to the kitchen. While he was carrying her there, she was looking around herself. She could now take a better look of her surroundings, everything around her seemed so modern-like. She promised herself to take a better look at it, when she will get better. He got there with her and sat her down on the couch. "Now, relax and lemme cook for us." he smiled and got down to the meat and rice. She was seeing his every movement, how he was boiling the rice, cutting chicken and making curry sauce. In a minute a nice scent was everywhere in the apartment. She got herself more comfortable on the couch and looked at him more curiously. His body language was calm, he was humming something to himself very quietly. After a while, Rin realized it was "Kamino Manimani" by Kashitaro Ito. She was surprised that a boy like him would listen to that kind of music, but she didn't mind. On the contrary, it was even more nice to know. Ryota was taking a quick glance at her side from time to time to see if she was doing okay. After some time he sat down next to her and handed her a bowl with warm rice and curry sauce with a crispy chicken and a pair of chopsticks. "There" he smiled at her, she smiled back. The chicken was smelling absolutely delicious, she couldn't wait to start eating. "Itadakimasu!" they both said and began to eat. It was more than delicious, it was...a perfection. Rin began to eat quicker. "It's so good, and yummy!" she looked at him. "Well, thanks, I think it appeared good too" he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, it seems that her comment made him shy. "My father's recipe, he is a great cook" Rin nods happily. They were peacefully eating dinner on the couch, nothing special for the average person, but special for her. She never had it like that with anyone. It could appear that eating dinner in a loose atmosphere is nothing big, but for her it was. That's what she wanted, a peace. "Ryota?" "Hmmm?" he looked up from his bowl and wiped his mouth off of sauce. "Can we...always eat like that?" she asked quietly and took another portion of rice in sauce to her mouth. Ryota at first was confused, but then he smiled softly. "Of course we can Rin, anytime." "Yay!" she smiled warmly at him. "Oh and you have a spot here" she pointed at his chin. "Oh shoot, where?" he groaned teasingly and tried to wipe it off. Rin began to laugh softly at his tries. That child inside her again. But... What if she could finally let it express itself? What if that child got its safe place here? Rin thought for a while and smiled gently, that's it. She looked at Ryota who was still trying hard to wipe his chin off of sauce. "I guess... I will get used to here." she thought with a soft smile.