Over Again

Chapter 21

"Stop it Sirius!" Regulus's frustrated voice reverberated through the manor. It had been a few hours since the revelations had taken place and it had been decided by the adults that they would stay here for a while, until Harry woke up and they could determine if Regulus's existence was dependent on nearness or not. In those hours, it seemed Sirius was determined to figure out how on earth Regulus had died, while the younger Black was equally determined to keep mum on the issue. Remus was there to mediate between the two, though more often than not, he would become absorbed in his book and forget about them altogether.

"Just tell me Regulus! Why are you so intent on hiding it?"

Because you were right, you are right, because I was a coward, because I do not want to see the horror in your eyes.

"Because it does not matter. I died, I have the locket in a safe place and you can get it soon." Regulus snapped back agitated.

Remus just observed both the brothers, standing on opposite sides of the coffee table. Both so similar, yet so same. One taller with stronger features, confidence in his posture, alive. The other with softer features, posture tightened in defence. It was a distorted mirror, two sides of the same coin, both brought up in the same environment, both products of the toxic adults around them, both who had gone in different directions, yet had ultimately reached the same point.

"Reggie..we didn't even get to lay you to rest." The broken tone of Sirius's voice seemed to almost sway the younger Black, indecision in his eyes. Regulus's eyes tracked the exhaustion in his brother's face, the defeated slump of his shoulders, his usually perfectly styled hair a mess. He wanted to, he wanted to tell Sirius where he had been, what he had been through, but he knew he couldn't, he couldn't put his brother through that, he couldn't put his grandfather through that. It wasn't, it just wasn't right. He closed his eyes as the memories he had been keeping at bay till now assaulted his senses, the horror, the degradation, the smell. He couldn't do it, he couldn't destroy them just for the useless husk of his body. His eyes turned blank as he opened them again, all his emotions repressed to the darkest corners of his mind. "I'm sorry Sirius. But I can't do that." He turned away from the sight of his brother, wandering over to the bookshelf, pretending he couldn't feel the devastation that hung in the air.

Lily and James sat at the edge of Harry's bed, watching their kids snuggle together in the huge bed. Ivy and Leo tucked into Harry's sides. A moment of peace from the constant barrage of difficulties that seemed to assault their eldest son continuously. After a few moments of silence, Lily tugged James's hand, pulling him from Harry's bedroom to the study.

"What were you hiding Lils?" James asked once he had activated the silencing runes in the study. His wife had been elusive when speaking with the others, the others may not have noticed it, but he had been watching Lily Evans since his teens and he could pick out her moods with even a twitch of her eyebrows.

Lily sagged against the desk, her red hair tumbling in front of her face, hiding her expression, her body trembling. She had been holding herself together by sheer force of will in front of the others. "Lils?" James's small voice called out, his hand cradling her neck, tilting her face upwards. His other hand brushed her hair behind her ear, taking in her glassy eyes and vacant expression.

"Lily flower?" He whispered concern for her and their son evident in his trembling fingers. "What is it?" With a deep breath, Lily pulled away from James, she opened one of the drawers and pulled on the satin gloves stashed in it, walking to the bookshelf behind the desk, her fingers trailed over the spines, going towards the older and older ones, until she finally pulled out a thin book. The age of the book showed in the delicate way Lily handled it, even with satin gloves on, she was very careful to open the brittle yellowed parchment slowly. She made her way back to her husband's side and showed him the words which had been swimming in her mind for ages since she had seen what Harry had done.

With a frown, James leant over her and read the words that his wife pointed to, knowing better than to touch the old book without any protection. Confused eyes slowly shuttered close. "Do you think Harry-"

"Yes." Lily answered without even having to listen to the whole question. She knew what he was going to ask anyway.

"Where did you even find this book Lils?" James asked exhausted. He had never seen it before and he knew for a fact that he had read every book that pertained to his family history. "It just appeared one day, on the bookshelf. The weird thing Is that there was even dust settled around it as if it has been untouched for ages."

James just nodded, his eyes still trained on the pages in front of him. "Well at least we know Harry will be fine now, and we can help him so that he doesn't get overwhelmed."

Lily nodded, green eyes meeting hazel ones as determination overtook both of them. "That is all that matters, that Harry is okay now."