Over Again

Chapter 11

"James!" A heart wrenching scream ripped the uneasy silence of the night.

"James, James, James." Voice caught over sobs, Sirius tumbled to a stop beside the bespectacled body on the ground.

"No no no no no. Your okay, your okay, you have to be. Please please please don't James, James James."

Sirius's hands roamed over the body of his best friend, his first friend, his brother, his everything as tears slid down his face, his voice breaking as his soul left him every second James didn't reply.

"Please, please, please. I'm so sorry. Please wake up. I'm so sorry, please James, please."

His hand slid to James's gripping the unresponsive limb.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.

The word started as a whisper, growing louder each time until his whole world was consumed by that small four lettered word.

Dead.

The world screamed at him.

Gone.

Gone, because it was your fault. All yours. You trusted Peter. You doubted Moony. You made them switch. You killed James, and Lily and Harry.

It was the last name that finally snapped Sirius out of his funk. Harry, his godson. Harry James's son, Harry Lily's son. Harry and Lily who were probably somewhere in the house lying dead because of him.

All because of him.

"Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. No, no, no, Harry, Lily."

Trembling legs struggled to hold up his dead weight.

Dead, dead, dead, dead, DEAD.

Just as he made his way to the staircase, about to climb up, he heard someone suck in a breath and ending up coughing.

Rage, grief, anger, loss, sadness, recklessness storming into his grey eyes, Sirius turned around his wand leaping into his hand, reacting to his anger, only to clatter to the floor as his stood numbly watching the scene before him.

For where there was a dead body before, James's body was actually upright now. His left hand braced to the floor while the right held in front of him as he coughed, his lungs trying to get used to sucking in oxygen again.

"James?"

"I don't- I don't understand." Sirius murmured.

"Pa-Padfoot."

The voice prompted him to move. Because he had heard that same word from that same mouth in that same voice a million times and he knew exactly what James needed from that one word. He moved to support him, helping him stand up, his hands coming around to support his waist as he put James's around his shoulder. James winced, his free hand coming up to brace his ribs, coughs still racking out of him.

"Whe-where are Lily and Ha-"

His question was cut off by a scream in a very familiar voice.

"Lily." They both murmured.

Urgent hazel eyes turned onto grey ones. The meaning behind them clear. Go. Go and make sure they're okay.

Lowering James to the stairs propping him against the staircase, Sirius rushed upstairs.

"Lily!" He shouted as he skidded into the nursery. His urgency dying at the sight in front of him.

There between the destruction and lingering feeling of death stood Lily, her red hair covering her face as her hands cradled something to her chest.

Heart in his throat, Sirius approached her fearing that the key to their hearts was not lost forever.

"Lils." He murmured as his hands rose hesitantly. He didn't know what to do, what words to offer, his own mind numb, his emotions succumbing to the pressure of the moment, finding relief beneath the blessed weight of the steel of emotionlessness.

Green eyes snapped up to his, overflowing with tears and sadness and relief.

It was seeing the last emotion that Sirius was finally able to breath again, unaware of when he had stopped doing so.

"He's okay." Lily whispered, pressing her nose into the mop of black hair.

Exhaling in relief, Sirius could finally feel the tension seeping out of his muscles.

They're okay. They're all okay.

"Come on. Let's go see James." He said as he led her out of the nursery, neither of them paying any heed to the black black robe and white white wand left behind.