My Deepest Scar (A Tragic Teenage Love)

Ch. 9 - Secret Santa Pt. 1

I was also good friends with Kamalesh. We'd usually talk a lot in bus about random stuff. He seemed really mature and even helped me whenever I was confused about my feelings for Rohan. It'd been a month and I still couldn't get rid of my feelings for him. In fact, the more I talked with him the more it grew. We'd patched up after his prank incident and became good friends again. Neither of us never talked about my feelings for him and we proceeded to be 'just' good friends. Which was good, because I didn't want to be with him romantically. I liked him, but he confused me a lot. All I wanted to do was get over him and live my life.

A day before the winter break, our English teacher announced we'd be playing the 'Secret Santa'. It was a Christmas-themed game where our names would be written in chits and everyone needed to pick a chit. The person we get is our 'Chris child' and the person who gets our name is our 'Chris Mom'. We should gift a present to our Chris child and our Chris mom would do the same for us. When I went to choose my chit, I'd wanted to get Aisha's name. I know a lot about her and I had so many ideas for her present. It was my first time playing the game and I wanted to give a special gift to my Chris child. I didn't feel comfortable giving special gifts to boys, tho. It's not gender discrimination according to me. I was never comfortable on getting close to people of the opposite gender.

Sadly, my Chris child was a guy named Pranab and I barely talked to him. All I knew was he liked to play football, so I could only gift something related to that. We were supposed to keep it as a secret, but I told Aisha. However, on our way to games Jagdeep asked me to tell him. I didn't at first but he revealed that I was his Chris child so I revealed mine too. He was a nice guy and I considered him as a brother. He seemed decent, and had always been respectful. He knew about my feelings for Rohan and I occasionally talked to him about it since I'd considered him a brother. I was never comfortable with having boy best-friends so I just called everyone brother. I'd went through a lot in my previous school and I'm sick of every guy I talked to proposing me after a period of time. Hopefully, calling them a brother from the start would convey to everyone that I'd never want anything more than just friendship from them.

I had wanted Aisha to be my Chris Mom but Jagdeep seemed nice enough so I wasn't so bothered. I was glad that Rohan was neither my Chris Mom nor my Chris child. It'd just make me closer to him and I didn't want that. I wanted it to be just platonic friendship and anything else would divert my priorities. By the end of the day, most of us had revealed our Chris child. So much for keeping it a secret.

Things went even worse in bus because many of us started talking about the presents we plan to give. Rohan became so pissed off, he asked everyone to reshuffle the chits. At first no one wanted to, but then no one cared enough so we proceeded to reshuffle our chits.

I took a random chit and opened it. Shock went through me like electric charge. 'Rohan Rajvansh' was my Chris child now. Logically, it shouldn't matter. But fuck logic. I didn't know what came over me when I got his chit. I felt like I won something precious. All over a goddamn chit. Don't tell me I'm turning into a simp for Rohan. I can't can I? I only simp over celebrities and fictional men. That's my ME CODE.

By the time I was finished processing my shock and cursing fate for pushing him toward me every damn time, the guys pissed Rohan off again. And we had to re-do the process. Again. I tried to stop, but everyone had already put their chits in so I folded mine in such a way that I could recognise it. The next time I made sure to draw Rohan's name, again. Don't even ask me why I did that. I myself don't know. Okay, maybe I do. But let's just pretend I don't.

While I was lost in my thoughts, the guys managed to start up another argument. And we had to reshuffle our chits. Again. This was starting to get on my nerves. And to make things better, before I could take Rohan's chit a guy named Sanjay took it.

"Hey I was about to take that!" I whined.

"Nah I took it. It's mine now." He shrugged like it didn't matter.

"Nooo I want that. Give it to me. I can't have Anish as my Chris child." And I really want to it to be Rohan.

"I won't give it back." He replied stubbornly.

Silently watching our exchange, Rohan took the blank chit from my hand and replaced it with the chit he took.

"But- "

"This is the last time we're switching. You don't always get who you want." He cut me off. So rude. Why did I even like him?

I rolled my eyes at him and opened the chit he gave me. My eyes widened at the name:

'Rohan Rajvansh'

His name found me. Again. This time, purely fate.

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Word Count: 1500

Hello everyone,

I sincerely apologize for the late update. My exams ended only today and I wrote this chapter in a hurry because I have a flight to catch in 3 hours.

To sum up, I fucked up my exams even after (not so sincerely) studying. But it doesn't matter cuz I successfully passed 11th grade so yayyy!

Sad news: I won't be able to upload another update before March 30. I'm going to Shillong for vacation and I'd be there for a week. I don't think I'd get internet. But even if I do, I'd prefer to be with the nature. Afterall, I'm going to a place where one of the highest rainfall in the world occur. I'm so excited! But I promise I'll come up with regular updates from next month. Sorry for making y'all wait so much T_T

Also this chapter is unedited so please ignore mistakes. I'll edit it after I come back.

Have a good day/night!