Stupid feelings and poetry

Confliction

I don't want to live
But I don't want to die
My mind is so confusing
And I don't know why
Sometimes I think I am gay
But I like him, so I must be straight, right?
Or moments when I am walking on a bridge and I hope I fall.
Or when I walk on a road and hope a car doesn't stop.
But I won't take action.
Maybe I am weak and a coward.
Maybe there will just be a happy accident.