Handcuffed

Chapter 45

Once I got to my room and got upstairs, I could still hear loud crashes and him cussing multiple times.  I sat on my bed, just listening and really not sure what to think.  I mean, I understood and stuff.  It was just strange knowing that Luke was doing this.  I wasn't really surprised but rather just looking at him differently.  I knew he got angry and fast when people insulted me or harassed me.  Hell, it was clear when he started beating on Patrick.  Yet, it seemed like something completely different because he wasn't facing the people that did this to me.  He was simply letting his anger out.  It seemed immature, somewhat pointless.  Luke understood it wasn't the best way to let anger out.  But like I discovered before, he didn't want to be perfect.  He didn't want to be good all the time.  He and I were both satisfied bringing destruction into our lives to a certain extent and what could accomplish that more than taking it out on your home? 

It didn't last too long.  However, the yelling started again when I heard the front door open.  I cringed because I knew what was coming.  Clare started yelling at him instantly from seeing the amount of destruction.  And though I hate her fucking guts, I understood where she was coming from.  You walk through your door only to find that your husband completely trashed the place and not understanding why. It was understandable from her position.  That was why it was surprising to hear him yelling back at her.  They weren't loud enough for me to hear what they were saying but I mean it's common sense that they were fighting about the trashed kitchen.

Somewhere between their fighting and my listening, I fell asleep.  And when I woke, it was quiet.  Opening my eyes, I could only assume it was morning.  Rolling over from where I was laying in my bed, I looked over at my clock and it read 11:09.   Sighing, not sure what woke me or why, I turned back over, facing the wall to try to fall back asleep.  But that's the thing: I couldn't.  I laid there for maybe a half hour, trying to fall back asleep and all it resulted in was me being even more awake.  I wasn't sure why.  I mean, sure I was anxious for school tomorrow - that is if he would let me go.  I was worried about him, yes.  Was I curious about the house and if it was still trashed?  Sure.  Was I worried because I saw Luke wasn't in my room, sleeping on my floor like he has been for protection and security since Mark broke in?  Hell yeah. 

Okay, I guess that's enough of an answer as to why I couldn't fall back asleep.

Groaning, I threw my covers off me and climbed out of bed.  Quietly, I opened my bedroom door and started for the stairs.  Halfway down though, I stopped when I heard that the TV was on.  Fuzzy voices and nothing else.  I continued down the stairs slowly though and when I got the bottom, I saw Luke was down here, sitting on the couch and looking at the TV that was illuminating light around the room.  Slowly, I walked towards him, all the while, looking at his still figure on the couch.  I was really worried about him and when I came into sight, I saw him look away from the screen and his eyes reached mine.  He didn't look that happy to see me; more like annoyed or even guilty.  I stood there, unsure of what to do when his eyes reached mine.  They seemed to have shocked me and I felt my body shift in temperature as well as the amount of tension within me. 

He looked calm now, in control.  With the expression on his face, it showed he was even a little ashamed.  He sat up, slumped back into the couch and letting it support him.  His eyes droopy, they were still large and on mine.  His face was sad but intense at the same time.  Luke's face even showed signs of just how tired he was but he didn't seem to take notice of that at all. 

My eyes finally broke away from his and I looked around the dark room.  I didn't see anything really destroyed or trashed.  I'm sure the kitchen was a completely different story.  My eyes then landed on the coffee table and I raised my eyebrow at what I saw. Four open beer cans sat there along with a fifth that was closer to him, which I assumed he was currently drinking from.  I never saw him drink but I wasn't too shocked.  I mean, I knew there was beer in the house.  It was more shocking that he already had four, was on his fitth, and was working in the morning.