' Silvio's Willy Given The Chop ' ( Daily Mirror : 29 March 2013 )
Before feminists the world over start the celebration, stop! It is not his own willy! Nor has he decided to change his gender. No, what has actually been chopped is the phallus off a statue. Apparently, whilst PM of Italy, Silvio Berlusconi, as well as hosting the occasional ' Bunga-bunga get together' and trying to recreate the famous Roman bacchanalistic and orgiastic lifestyle of his Toga-clad ancestors, also had time to indulge his artistic peccadilloes. He decided to embellish two 2000 year old statues at his official residence. He spent the equivalent of £60,000 adding a carved penis to a statue of Mars, God of War and a hand to Venus, Goddess of Love. Whether he ever had plans to unite these two additions is unclear. His actions offended the artistic cognoscenti, unsurprisingly, and now that he is no longer in office the statues have now been restored to their former imperfect glory. So no chance of Mars getting a happy ending from Venus' hand. Art restorer, Giovanna Baldini, who restored the statues is quoted as saying:
'It was a very delicate operation.' I am sure it was Giovanna, I am sure it was.
*****
Silvio did not like the modern life
He yearned for Roman Days
Not so full of care and strife
Free to cavort and play
All manner of sensual pastimes
To while the time away.
So he liked to Bunga-bunga
And hold parties too
But he also loved to play around
With all the statues too.
*****
Written by Vernicho ( 29 March 2013 ) Copyright ( All Rights Reserved )
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PoetryThis series will pick a newspaper headline from each day. It will include my response, either a thought, a question a statement or a poetic piece inspired by the headline.