𝑏𝑟𝑢𝑡𝑎𝑙 [𝒍𝒓𝒉,𝒄𝒕𝒉]

ᴛʜɪʀᴛʏ-ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ - ᴄᴀʟᴜᴍ - ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀ ʙᴏʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ?

33 | Calum | is there a boy you like?

Sunday

Calum felt a bit odd. He was at a point in his life where most things didn't go as planned. For one, he genuinely liked Maureen and they were going out although it wasn't anything official yet, and also the realisation that he was bi.

But that wasn't the only thing. When he was younger, he had always assumed that by the time he was a senior, he knew what he wanted to do with his life, but he still had no idea... but to be fair, he also hadn't really got the time to do so lately. Especially now with his parents splitting up, everything about his life was so unsure.

And he also still hadn't finished his talk with Maureen, but at least that was something he was working on in this very moment.

"Sooooo...", Maureen said.

"Sooooo....", Calum replied.

Needless to say, the whole situation was more than just uncomfortable. The two of them hadn't talked since Calum had run out of the room after telling that he was bisexual. Now they were again, sitting on the edge of Maureens bed and none of them had an idea on how to tackle this conversation.

"For how long have you known?"

Calum thanked god when Maureen broke the silence, although the question had him thinking.

"I'm not so sure to be honest...", Calum admitted. It's hard to pinpoint out the Moment in which he was sure of his sexuality. It was not like he woke up one day and thought to himself "okay from now on I like guys too" – it was more complicated than that.

"I guess I've known for quite long, but never really wanted to admit it to myself. You know all the parties and girls and all the toxic masculinity... deep down I knew why I was doing it."

"But you said you were bi right?", Maureen made sure.

Calum nodded.

"I'm sorry if this is insensitive... but for all I know that means that you like girls too. So technically getting with lots of girls doesn't really stand in a conflict with your sexuality.."

"Yeah.. well that's true. It's not like I completely denied myself doing that, but it denied a part of me. And I thought that if I kept denying it, it would disappear, but it didn't so here we are now."

Then silence broke in once again, but this time it was far less awkward. Maureen had turned to Calum completely, leaning over to give him a hug. "Thank you", she whispered.

"For what?", Calum replied.

"For trusting me enough to tell me", she then said, breaking out of the hug, but giving him a big smile instead.

"So, this is not a problem for you?", Calum asked.

Maureen rose a brow. "No, why should it?"

Now Calum was smiling too.

"I have one more question though."

"Go ahead", Calum nodded.

"Well they are actually two questions, but they go in one. How come that you now decided to not fight that part anymore, and how come that you are coming out now? I'm just asking this since you know... I am a girl and it's surely not of me that you've come to terms with your gay side because of me... like is there a guy you like?"

"Well...", he started. "There was a guy I liked... But he's straight, so it was never more than just a crush. But I really liked him and he was the first real crush I ever had on a guy. I mean... I've had celebrity crushes for sure and here and there I've had crushes on strangers but never called them that.

I just told myself that these were attractive people, which doesn't automatically mean that I was attracted to them.

But with him it was different. I could watch him for hours. You know, just looking at him and admiring his beauty. I had never in my life wanted to be with someone as much as I wanted to be with him. Knowing that this would never happen because I knew he was straight and even if he wasn't, I wouldn't have the guts to make a move, because I just didn't accept that part of me, it broke my heart."

"This doesn't sound like a crush to me. It sounds as if you are in love", Mauren remarked.

"Was. But yes. You're probably right, I did love him...", Calum had to admit. "But it's in the past. I'm over him."

"So, there's no guy that you like right now?", she asked.

Calum didn't quite know how to respond to that. There was one person that immediately popped into his mind as she asked this question, but he hadn't got to know this person enough to know if he liked them in that way. But there was potential for sure. However, this was not something to tell the girl you've just recently started seeing.

"Well, there's no one I like as much as you", he told her, grinning at her widely.

She returned the smile. "Well, I hope so", she then said, before she leaned in to kiss him.

877 words

So short, so sorry, but you know i'm a firm believer that it's better to have a shorter chapter than one with a lot of words saying nothing 🤷🏻‍♀️

was a bit busy last week as my dad came to visit, which is why i only now got to update :)

i hope you enjoy xx

don't forget to vote and comment!! <33

xoxo amora 💋