I had so much left, to say

Chapter 4

Sage's pov:

I can hear muffled footsteps. I think Cade's probably back. I don't know how to tell him about what happened today. I don't think he'll take it calmly. But at the same time, I feel that as my finance he deserves to know. 

Ughhh seems like he's here.

I see a figure appearing in the hallway.

His eyes soften with something that looks similar to affection. He says; "Cara mia, you look like you're having an internal battle with yourself. Are you okay?"

Fuck it I need to tell him. He should know. I say; 
"Cade you're back?"
to get into an easy conversation with him. He's seems a little weirded out and on guard now thanks to my stupid attempt at starting an easy going conversation.

What is wrong with me?
Why the hell did I ask such an obvious question?
Also why the fuck am I fidgeting with my hands that much.

He seems to pick up on my anxiousness quickly and walks closer to me. Which doesn't help my case much. I think he should be a little far, in case he doesn't take it well so I try to push him away which results in him coming closer and hugging the life out of me.

Don't panic, you're not doing anything wrong. It's okay! It's not your fault. You're not hiding anything. You... the voices in my head that seem a lot like my thoughts say; it doesn't feel okay. I think I'm going to have a mental breakdown. He seems to see exactly what I am going through. It takes a few seconds to process what he's saying. I think he said something like ; "Sage! I asked if your okay? Did something happen while I was gone?"

He asks with genuine concern on his face, which I haven't seen in a while.

"Cara Mia, you look as pale as a ghost. What's wrong?"
He asks again causing me to panic. I almost instantly say without thinking. But stop or do I. I'm not sure. I did not allow my mouth to say anything. I don't know why it said;

"I'm leaving"

Cade halted and looked at me with disbelief and confusion. "Why?" He asks.And I genuinely do not know the answer to that. 

Should I reply and say I love you? I think, I'm not sure. Should I say that to him? Considering I'm telling him I am leaving. Should I act like Arlo and tell him that while breaking his heart?
No!
I don't.
I look him dead in his eyes and say;
" I saw you kissing Aurora." Which is total bullshit considering I did not care enough about that to leave.

It might be one of the reasons to why I've decided what I've decided but not the most important one. I don't want to tell him anything about what I am planning but I do respect him enough to tell him a half truth which won't necessarily do much harm.