𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞//𝐣𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲

𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓾𝓹 𝓼𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓵𝔂

"It's hard to be lonely, but it's the right thing to do"

Was this all a bad idea? 
Most definetly. 
Did I regret any of it? 
Not even in the slightest. 

I knew everything would be different between us now. 
We cross our personal spaces and lines in our relationship. 
Even when we were both drunk,we knew what we were doing.

And now,as I open my eyes and look by my side,. 
The place where she was lying yesterday is empty; it screams of loneliness and coldness. 
I sigh and sit up. 
She left. Probably to work. Without word,without goodbye. 
She regrets it. 

I got up and went to the kitchen. 
I expect some kind of note from her or anything, but...there is nothing. 

She was really banished. 
I get dressed up and head to work. 
I know it's going to be awkward. I know she is going to avoid that. 
But I can't let it be like this. 
I need to talk to her about it.

When I get to work, I see her next to the coffee machine. 
We make eye contact, but she quickly looks away. 
I sigh and step closer to her. 

"Goodmorning," I say, gently touching her hand so no one would notice. 

She pulled her hand away and gave me a little glance. 

"Hey," she says, sipping from her coffee.

I stare at her. "Can we talk?" 

"We had a job to do; besides, there is nothing to talk about," she says. 
I'm staring at her. I'm trying to find the right words. 

"Jennifer, come on, don't be like this. I know you may regret it now, but" 

"Stop it," she snaps at me. 
"Nothing happened; just forget it," she whispers, and then passes by me. showing me her shoulder. 
I stare at her, speechless. 

She wants to act like nothing happened now? Be my guest.

This is extremely frustrating for me. I have to see her all the time, and each time I do, I can't help but remember that night we spent together. There are so many unanswered questions, and yet she seems to want to forget the whole thing. 

And I had enough.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

We are now talking about a new case. I'm ignoring her eyes, even though I feel them everywhere on me.

"Alright...JJ and Emily, you are going to talk to the families of the missing girls," says Hotch. 

"Um, actually, I can go to the station to help you with the public communication," JJ says, and I stare at her. 

"I got it. You can go with Emily, or is that a problem?" 

"No, no problem at all." 

She says, and Hotch nods. 
We all take our things in sets to different areas. 

The whole time I'm driving, she's forcing quiet between us. 

After a while, she speaks up. 
"I'm going back to Will's place," she says. Not directly to me. Just...in the air. 

I nod. "Fine by me. Natalie asked me when she could come over." 
She scuffs. 

"Oh, so you eventually called her? I thought you forgot about her." 

"Jennifer, what is your problem? Can't we too just communicate about this like two grown adults?" 
She sighs and looks out of the window. 

"You are right. We were drunk and something got out of our hands. Now we are just going back to our partners and acting professional." 
I kept quiet for a while. 

"Do you really think that we can be the same after what happened?
That this could be professional, like you say?" 

"I don't know Em. It was a mistake, and you know that." 

My heart flinched a little. 
"No, no, I didn't know that," I say. 

I feel her eyes on me pierce again,
but there is nothing more to say. 
Even though I know she wants to.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

When we get back to the BAU after another successfully made case, it's night, and we are all tired. 

But to my surprise, outside of the building is standing a beautiful curly-haired woman with a big smile,waiting for me. 

"Hey stranger,glad you called." 
she says. 

"Nicole...heyyy," I say, a little surprised but at the same time glad she is here with me. 

I turn to my team. 
"This is Nicole, my girlfriend," I say. Nicole doesn't react in any specific way to that title. No one does. Just Hotch. He gives me a look, but then he quickly shakes her hand. I turn my gaze at JJ. Her eyes were piercing Natalie with jealousy. 

As my team meets with her, Hotch takes me by my side. 

"What?" I ask. 

"Are you serious?" 

"What do you mean?" 

He stares into my eyes. 
"I thought there was something between you and JJ." 

I sigh. 
"Why do you have to know everything?" ...Nothing is between us; it's professional." 

He nods. "Right, and it's better to stay this way. I can't have two agents from the same team fall in love. Emotions cloud judgment," he says. 

"Don't worry, there is definitely no love between us." 

I say. And I know I'm lying not just to him but even to myself with that.