The Eyes Of An Artist

Chapter 12

- You're so weird - she said to me.
- You too - I said.
We stood still and looked into eachother's eyes. And suddenly she turned into this foggy image of a girl looking at me. Her body trembled in my sight and I saw her figure deformed by the tears filling my eyes. Then my sight was clear and I felt the warmth flowing down my cheeks and the shame afterwards... I was crying in front of someone.
- Sorry... I'm not feeling very like me - I said. And her eyes looked at me with this tender feeling that made me feel understood. She didn't say anything, she just looked at me.
- I think I'm pregnant - I said trembling. Not being able to control it, the words spoke themselves out of my mouth, they couldn't live in my mind anymore. And tears kept on streaming down my face. This was so tiring and...heavy.
- Hey... - her soft voice filled the air. And suddenly my body felt safe, I felt safe. She hugged me and all I could feel was her warmth and softness. The perfume of her hair invaded me and made me forget about everything.
- Hey - she reapeted softer than the first time.
- You're going to be fine - she whispered into my ear and held me closer to her.

A silence was built between us until I said,
- We have such akward conversations -. She smiled, her cheeks turned a little red and I didn't feel alone for a few seconds.
- Are you sure... Are you sure you're pregnant? - she asked me. And I remembered suddenly that I was facing that problem. She had made me forget about it somehow.
- No... I have to take a pregnancy test - I answered ashamed.
- Want me to go with you and buy it? - she asked. Her wide green eyes stared into me and I felt this light, this way out of my darkness.
- Yes, that would help me - I answered. 

We walked to a farmacity and I felt so scared, so ashamed.
- Calm down Hannah, everything is going to be alright -. The way she said my name made me feel something tingle inside me. It gave me this warm feeling that I didn't even try to evade because of my tiredness and weakness
She put her hands on my shoulders while saying that and I forgot about everything again. That was strange, whatever.

I bought like three tests and hid them in my purse. My family couldn't see them, they couldn't know anything about this. Evelyn walked beside me and before she left she looked at my eyes again and gave me this look that lived in my head that whole entire day. Her eyes had this look, this sadness in them, but also this profound feeling of...I don't know, of something.

Before she walked away she borrowed my phone and wrote her number in it.
- Whenever you feel like having a weird conversation you already know who you can talk to - she said, handing it back to me. And she smiled. Her face lit up and I felt myself blushing. I hoped she hadn't noticed.

She walked away and the rest of the day memories of her invaded me. I felt so stupid for remembering someone like that, someone who I had seen only three times in my life. And I tried to replace the memories of her with thoughts of Tom, or things that I had to do. She couldn't keep on popping into my head like that, in that strange way that made me feel...understood and not so alone. It couldn't be her in my mind, it had to be Tom.