Life After You And Me

Kryptonite

"Was all this necessary?"

"I just wanted you to be comfortable. I know things have been tough."

It's suddenly clear. He's about to break some upsetting news to me, I can already tell. The man is predictable as he is fine.

All this chivalry was to soften the blow, it must've been. Or maybe I've just had so many punches recently and everything that appears slightly bearable feels too good to be true.

I don't think anything could hurt more than finding out about his engagement, but Murphy's Law, right?

I'm afraid to hear the word, 'engaged', slip through his lips. I'm not ready to hear him admit it. He probably wants to talk about where Zoe and I will fit into his new life with his future wife.

All I know is he better not ask me to come to the wedding.

"I guess this is really who you are, huh?"
The unnecessary comment passes through my lips without my permission. Why do we feel the need to hurt those that hurt us?

I think I've mentally wrestled with the thought for too long and the words begged to be delivered. But I regret them as soon as I say them.

I see him shift uncomfortably on the chair, no doubt affected by my cunning words. Maybe I'm being unfair, but it wasn't fair that he wasted so much of my time and made me believe he was something he clearly wasn't.

"I know you resent me for being successful."

Excuse you?

Seeing my not-so-subtle reaction to his comment, he corrects;

"Maybe those aren't the right words to use. But just because I grew up poor doesn't mean I can't have nice things now. It doesn't mean I've changed either."

Fair. But he definitely has changed.

I don't tell him that in fear of starting an argument we failed to finish back when we were married.

I instead say to him,

"What you like or don't like has nothing to do with me, Olli."

That's the truth. Whatever I think of him now doesn't matter, it shouldn't. I'm his ex-wife, he made sure that remains the case.

"Yeah, but what you think of me matters to me."

"Why is that?"
I barely allow him to finish before I ask.

"What am I doing here, Olli? Is this about Zoe? Could you not send a text? Or better yet, send your assistant like you've been doing this whole time."

Maybe I'm a little too cranky right now. But he's been a massive asshole to me, and quite frankly, I'm tired.

It feels like he thinks he can pull the strings to my limbs and I'll jump to his command. Perhaps I'm the one who gave him that idea and I'll take the blame.

For a long time, I allowed him to treat me that way so I could redeem my own actions. I'm the partner who cheated - I can't cry, I can't complain.