the tables have turned | steve/bucky

chapter twenty six

Bucky's Story

My chest felt like it was going to cave in. Have you ever stood up on something and thought, "Hmm... I wonder if I'm too heavy for this?" and suddenly you were falling right through it? Well that was exactly how I felt as came crashing to the solid floor. I didn't even know it was possible to break your chest. But the agonizing pain had to have meant I cracked it right down the middle... and then set it on fire.

I hacked nastily. What came up from the bottom of my throat was thick and bloody. What a sudden change of events, I thought to myself when another gross cough pretty much broke one of my ribs. One second I was about to fly through the roof because Steve asked me to marry him, and now all of the excitement led me right to the floor. Maybe if I brought my breathing bag none of this would be happening. But no, I wanted to look nice tonight... 

Everything distorted. Next thing I knew, I was on my back and Steve was hovering over me. Even though my tunnel vision only allowed me to focus on him, the white noise now setting in told me that the party around us must have stopped. 

"Bucky?" Steve shook me. Once. Twice. Slowly, I was losing my grip on consciousness. "Stay awake for me." For you, Steve? Of course I'd stay awake for you. 

I blinked. Aww shit. Now I was pulled into Steve's lap, and he was pushing back my hair and talking to me. Well I definitely I wasn't in that position a second ago. Okay, no more blinking. Just focus on Steve's face and everything will be alright. Right? Right.

Tony's voice is what sucked me back into the here and now. He loomed over me as well, only, he was on the phone. He spoke rapidly, almost angrily into the device. I didn't know if he was just really concerned for me or still a little buzzed from earlier. 

I blinked again.

Wetness woke me. First, it was droplets of something raining down on my face--ah, those were Steve's tears--and then it was metallic soup pouring from my mouth. Oh. Not soup--it was blood. Natasha... Natalia... Romanoff... Romanov... Romanova (?)  was kneeling on the floor and holding my hand. Fuck! She was getting blood all over her beautiful dress. Her date--Clint--had wide eyes as he peered down at me. He was standing behind Natasha, who was kneeling next to Tony, who was squatted beside Pepper, who was bent beside Steve, who was holding onto me. What an odd, lop-sided circle.

I felt like I was floating. The pain was starting to go away as Steve petted my hair, which was good, but his face was starting to get fuzzy at the same time. 

"Bucky," Steve gave me another solid shake. "Stay with me."

Dying seemed a lot scarier before. But now I was ready for it. I mean, what better place to die than in the arms of your first love? Granted, I would've picked a more decent way to go, but as long as Steve was here with me, I didn't mind how it all unfolded.

"Steve..." I absently mumbled.

Seventy years ago I would've pictured Steve in my place. But I couldn't be any happier that our roles are switched now. I guess it's always been like that. The day I fell from the train, as I broke through the rampant wind, I thought, "I'm so glad it's me and not you, Steve." Even when I was put in HYDRA's chair and had a bit of my frayed memory left, again I thought, "I'm so glad it's me and not you, Steve." 

As I laid there in Steve's arms looking up at him, I felt sad. I'd never get to buy him a ring, or see him come down the aisle. I'd never get to wake up to his face under the sunlight knowing in the back of my head that he was my husband. I'd never get to go on missions with him and his super team like he always said I would. 

I'd never get to buy him that dog he's wanted every since we were kids, and I'd never get to take him out for shakes ever again.  

The thoughts of never ever's just kept coming. I managed to get a small smile stretched across my face as my eyes fixed on Steve's. And then, there was tranquility. A soft, white lift took me away from all the pain and all the misery, from the blood and the tears. I closed my eyes, and I was on my way.

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Steve's Story

Bucky gurgled nastily, and then went completely limp in my arms. I blinked. Once. Twice. After the third time I pinched myself--this had to be a nightmare. I tried to shake him awake, but he just wouldn't respond to it.

"James?" Natasha shouted, squeezing his hand. "James!" 

"Oh my god," Pepper breathed. She cupped her hand over her mouth and then scampered backwards. She got on her feet and scurried across the room to Tony, who was waiting impatiently by the entrance for the paramedics to arrive.  Words were exchanged. Tony snapped his head towards us, absolute horror easing itself into the lines of his face.

Holding his face, I begged Bucky to come back to me. But he wouldn't open his eyes. Those beautiful eyes... I'd never see them again. My body slumped forward. I wailed into the crook of Bucky's neck as the miserable reality of his absence set in.

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note: ..... sorry guys.