the tables have turned | steve/bucky

chapter twenty one

Later that night...

"Bucky, you're shivering. Do you need more blankets? I'll go get you more blankets—"

"No. Stay here with me. All I need is your body heat and I'll be fine."

I gave in to his pleading puppy dog eyes. "Fine."

I slipped under the sheets next to Bucky and laced my arms around his frigid body. His shoulders unwound at my touch.

Bucky's taste still lingered on my tongue from earlier. After sexytime with him, I don't think the taste of his body will ever leave. Of course, we couldn't get too wild. Bucky's failing lungs wouldn't allow that. But we had our moment, and it was sweet while it lasted. We've been holding all that in for a lifetime... it was a shame it all couldn't be released. But I was happy... more than happy. I wanted this pure bliss to last forever, maybe even longer than that...

"Steve?" his voice was quiet.

"Yeah, Buck?"

"I'm dying, Steve."

"No, you're not. Stop talking like that—"

"...Steve," he used whatever bit of energy he had left in him to turn over and face me. "This is it. This is where our story ends."

I could feel my heart in my throat when he spoke those words. I tried to deny it, I really did. But he was right. Our story was supposed to end all those years ago when I got sick. It was supposed to end when he fell from the train. It was supposed to end when I went into the ice. The universe has been pushing it back until there was no where else to go. Now here we are all these years later, and the tables have turned.Who would've thought that I'd be the one telling sick little Bucky that he was going to be okay, even when I didn't believe it myself? This was all just one sick, twisted fucking joke. I wasn't supposed to bury Bucky, Bucky was supposed to bury me...

"I can't lose you, Bucky," I whispered, caressing the side of his face. "You're the air that I breathe."

I hoped that he couldn't see me cry. Crying in front of him was a bit degrading. I had to be the strong one. That's what I was built to be: strong, worthy, durable. And yet, I couldn't help but dissolve into a waterfall of tears when he leaned forward and kissed my forehead and whispered, "You have to let me go."

My heart was so wound up in Bucky, I wasn't sure that I was capable of letting him go. He was embedded in my skin, he was conjoined with my soul. And when he looked at me like the way he was, I was certain that I couldn't be without him. I mean, what was I without Bucky?

I reached forward and pulled Bucky into me. I held him like there was no letting go... because there was no letting go... not for me. And so, intertwined beneath the moonlight, Bucky and I soon nodded off.

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