dancing in the stars (ballerina x singer wlw romance)

chapter nineteen

She leaves the studio after telling me to lock the doors, leaving me completely alone like she always does.
I collapse, letting my back fall against the mirror because I'm not ready to see myself yet. A sharp pain pierces through my leg and I shut my eyes, leaning my head back with the pain.
I let myself go, a loud sob echoing in the quiet room– I try to hide it but what's the point? I'm alone. I'm alone in this room, I spend more time here than I do at home and it doesn't feel like home. It feels like I'm being held hostage in these four walls. Like the movie Tangled, I'm waiting for someone to save me from the evil witch who's just sucking up all my life.
Tears fall to my legs, I wrap my arms around them after I bring them to my chest and I cry. And cry, and cry, and cry until I'm ready to scream but no sound comes out. Just uncontrollably sobbing and hiccups.
I cry for the little girl who wanted nothing more than to have fun dancing. I cry for the teenager who was so excited to join the most prestigious dance academy in the world. I cry for myself, because somehow in the years I've been here, I lost myself.
I lost myself in the process of becoming someone I never really wanted.

I don't know how much time I've been crying, curled up in the corner of the studio, but the sound of a Taylor Swift song makes me lift my head. I sniffle, wiping my eyes with my sleeves when I recognize my ringtone. I crawl to my bag, some tears still falling down my cheeks and I grab it just in time for the call to end.
My wallpaper stares at me–a picture of Aurora and I holding baby Millie when she was just a few months old– my lips try to form a smile but it's useless. The 9:14 p.m mocks at me, bringing a sharp pain to my chest that I ignore while opening the text messages. Madame Daisy doesn't let me use my phone in class, so I'm not surprised to find thirty three unread texts from literally everyone but I only open hers.

1:34
willow💜: hello, friend :) how are you feeling today?

2:21
willow💜: just wrote another song, wanna hear it?

2:22
willow💜: gonna assume u say yes so here,
willow💜: [Audio]

3:54
willow💜: are we still on for tonight? should i go to ur house or are we going together

4:23
willow💜: i know ur in dancing class but im worrieddd u can't use ur phone? :(

6:45
willow💜: well, i assumed your class ended at six. are u okay??

7:14
willow💜: ok im def worried. are u alive? send me a smoke signal or anything if u need help i'll go rescue you
willow💜: no but srsly are u ok? :(

8:27
willow💜: i didn't know if i should go to ur house or not but im worried. are u still at the studio?

8:45
willow💜: i realized i left you a lot of messages. don't hate me :)
willow💜: also, im walking on campus and i found ur sister. she said she hasn't seen u since yesterday and that you might be at the studio.

9:03
willow💜: fuck it, im coming. i hope you're okay.

Coming? Coming where?
Fuck. I completely forgot I had plans with Willow. It's been two days since we became officially friends and we've been texting a lot, well, when I have time to text back. She came to my house last night too, and we ordered some food and we watched a movie after she showed me her new songs.
My moms didn't let me do much, I had to practically beg them to let me go to Uni and then the studio– I should've listened to them.
Text messages from my mothers, sisters and my friends stare at me, I open my mom's just to tell her that I'm okay and I'm coming when my phone starts ringing again.