The General's Spy- An ACOTAR Story (Cassian x OC)

Chapter Fifteen

The sea of fae never seemed to end as I wandered mindlessly through the assembled crowd. The whispers stopped as I approached, as they spoke about me. My name floated through her court just as the scent of peonies traveled through Day Court during spring mornings.

My fake name. The false identity my survival was based on. The name that gave me life.

Barely.

Because in truth, I was wasting away. I had no outward allies. And for those who knew the truth, their survival too relied on their ability to keep the truth from our cold-hearted mistress.

A task that did not come lightly. Especially for my poor mother. Each time I would pass her, she fought the urge to let her look linger. Her hands fidgeted, usually ending up in the hands of the High Lord of Day.

I'd inferred he'd known the truth, as he seemed close to her. He'd force her gaze to him when she stared.

Keep your head high, the strong voice called from the deepest regions of my mind. Shoulders back. You command them. You do not let them see you breaking, his own voice broke slightly before he recovered his composure. I did as he commanded, letting my lips part as I took a deep breath.

The only one who dared defy her was forced into her bed nightly. Forced to do unspeakable things with her. I knew the look, I could see the small bits of shame that hid deep in his eyes.

I was almost certain it was the same gleam he saw in mine when we first met. I could hardly imagine the terror he saw in me. But from that, a bond had formed. I would not call him a friend, but we'd become closer than acquaintances.

And he was an instrumental part of the role I was to play.

He was there. He held her. He took her. And he refused to say more. As I turned the corner, two large figures spoke softly. The Attor's chilling voice caused my skin to erupt, my blood curdling with each word.

"She is not convinced yet," he advised.

"What would cement her place?" Rainer scoffed. "She's been correct."

"She'll have your wings," it taunted, almost laughing.

"Wait till she realizes you knew her lies as well," he shot back. "We both will be better off dead." The Attor remained silent, realizing its own danger. "What would cement her place?"

"Our Queen knows how she escaped, and the one responsible will suffer immensely for his crimes. But not before she has her fun."

"She will kill us both!" He scolded. "Do you know how she escaped?" Its clawed fingers ran over the cool stone as I stood silently, holding my breath.

"No. Only two do."

"Your mistress is one. Who else knows?" Rainer growled. The tension grew as the Attor chuckled.

"Why, the High Lord of Night, of course." Its yellow eyes shot to me, and it slyly bared its jagged teeth, mimicking a smile before returning to Rainer. "And I suspect the female warming your bed knows how she escaped." It stifled a chuckle, "Your mortal enemy and the female you've forcibly laid claim to." It paused, "Isn't that right, Princess?" Rainer cranked his head in my direction before grabbing the Attor's jaw.

"Never address her, again," he commanded, turning it away from me before he approached quickly. "Come," he muttered, grabbing my upper arm and pulling me with him. I gasped, looking over my shoulder and the smirking creature.

"You're hurting me," I muttered, doing my best to not draw his attention. His knuckles turned white, gripped harder. I bit my cheek, swallowing the whimper begging to come forth.

He'd only make it hurt more, I'd learned.

He moved away from prying eyes, and I quickly reverted to being submissive to him. I stumbled behind him, doing my best to keep up with his large steps. He silently moved down the stairs, before barking at the armed guard standing before the door.

"Leave!"

"I'm on-"

"I don't give a fuck what orders you've been given. The princess will ask for your head should you not do as we say." The green-skinned fae looked at me, his eyes full of conflict. He must have seen the same look in mine because his eyes softened. I gave a shaky nod, my mouth going dry. He scurried away, not far I'd wagered because if Amarantha had seen him, he surely would've been flayed.

"Rain-"

His large, tattooed forearm pushed up against my neck, forcing me further to the wall. Instant took over as pressure quickly built up in my head, my nails digging into his flesh.

"I should've killed you when I had the opportunity to," he harshly whispered. "I should've killed him for even coming and interfering with you. It would've saved so much hardship."

"Rai-" I choked. "Ple-"

"You'll stay here tonight," he finally relinquished, throwing me through the now-open door into the filth.

"Rainer!" I screamed from the wet, cold ground, my voice hoarse. "Rainer! You can't leave me here!" He slammed the door, locking it from the outside and peering through the window, his eyes darkening.

"You must think after this you'll return to Windhaven, find Cassian, and have him whisk you away. You. Are. Mine," he ground through clenched jaws. "You will not leave Strongfair, after this. I will tighten your leash and keep you with me at all times. Use chains if I must!" He turned and moved from the door, before sighing, "I can only hope you come to your senses. I'm doing this for us," he lied. "For our future children."

"I will never house your children!" I screamed. "I will never submit my womb to you!" He said nothing, walking further from the door. "You have taken everything from me, but I will not give you that." Silence filled the space again, "Rainer! Motherfucker!" I screamed banging on the door.

I could hear the distant chuckle, and feel the encouragement from the unseen force.

"Say it again," he urged through the wind. "Be the spitfire you are. Say something," Cassian's voice was a distant memory, but it felt as if he stood behind me.

"I think of Cassian when you fuck me!" I finally yelled to no one in particular, knowing he must have been long gone.

"Do you now, Lealia?" He boasted. "And how am I as a lover?" I could practically see his cocky smile cut through the darkness.

"I am going mad," I finally admitted, looking back at the door. My hands engulfed my face, holding back the tears that welled. "Completely mad."

"Do you hear the music?" A frail voice asked softly. I held my breath, trying to determine the origin of the female voice. "It is the most beautiful thing I've heard," she whispered again.

"I hear a male. An old friend," I whispered again.

"Do you know Tamlin?"

"I know of him," I whispered. "I should not be here," I admitted to the young, unseen, female. She did not respond for some time.

"What of Rhysand?"

"Him, I know." She hummed in response.

"I'm sorry," she smugly whispered. I chuckled in response, sliding to the floor. "He is a pig, no better than Amarantha," she called.

"What does he do to you?"

"Torments me, just as the other male did to you." I swallowed drily, doing my best to piece together his motives.

"He torments you?" My voice broke. "How?"

"He has me drink the wine nightly, and I dance." A chill was sent down my spine. "Dressed in clothes," her voice trailed off.

"Rhysand does this to you?" My mind wandered to all the times Rainer had done the same to me, and the first time I'd met the High Lord of Night. My heart pounded. "He forces you to-" Nausea immediately developed before I turned my hands and knees, heaving all contents from my stomach. I took heaving breaths, "Perhaps they are the same."

"Rainer has done the same?"

"What is your name?" I interrupted.

"Feyre."