bittersweet green apples, rejection, and the mediocre life of a human

Chapter 2

I couldn't stand to see Kyle beat himself up anymore. I knew he regretted our first meeting, possibly more than I'd ever seen anyone regret anything. Without giving myself the time to hesitate, I moved forward abruptly, closing the arm's length he had me at, slipping under his hand and wrapping my arms around his torso... or tried to. I barely even managed to reach his back. I hugged him as tightly as I could manage as the timelessness made a re-appearance, and the rain cascaded over us in sheets before Kyle managed to process what I'd done. Pushing away the unwanted, insecure thoughts of preposterous reactions I knew he wouldn't ever consider, I realized with a start that I'd managed to call my insecurity what it is - preposterous. Kyle made me feel empowered in a way that... I couldn't even describe it, but I could see through my insecurities, and push them aside. That felt amazing.

Slowly, as though he was inside of a dream he didn't want to wake from, Kyle brought his two massive arms to enclose me, and gently lifted me off the sidewalk into a tender embrace. He shifted his arms so that one of his palms swaddled my skull, pressing my nose into his solar plexus, and the other wrapped around me firmly, holding me a reasonable distance off the ground. His thumb flicked back and forth across the fragile spot where my spinal cord met my skull, and his body was impossibly firm against me, his unyielding solid muscles clearly defined through the wet fabric of his undershirt. He rested his chin just on top of my slick hair, nestling me into him as though he was afraid someone would try to rip me from his embrace. Time suspended for the second time that day, and I stayed powerless in Kyle's embrace for longer than I thought anyone could hold someone completely off the ground. My feet dangled above the sidewalk as Kyle's strength made itself known, clutching me to his chest like a teddy bear.

Kyle's hulking chest rumbled animalistically with appreciation, and I felt his chin nuzzle the top of my head in rhythm with the sweeping of his thumb, setting my mind at peace as the droplets continued to batter us relentlessly. It felt like all of New York, no, the entire planet had come to a standstill, and all that was left was Kyle, the rain, and I. I'm sure that neon lights continued to swirl and dance in the chaotic pools coating every gray Manhattan surface ubiquitously. I'm sure that clocks were still ticking in quiet, expensive apartments. Still, the eternity of our embrace seemed to stretch on forever... yet was somehow still over far too quickly.

As I descended back to earth, I noticed that Kyle's red eyes seemed to have even more iridescent facets than before, shimmering with a kindness that I could almost physically feel. Gently lowering me back to the cracked sidewalk, time seemed to flow normally again. A car rounded the corner onto our street in the distance, as though our spell had expired. Kyle slid his hand across my back slowly as he brought it to join with mine, intertwining our arms once more. Softly, he asked, "Tell me about you. What drives you crazy? What can you do for hours? What music do you listen to, but more importantly what song are you hoping for when you hit shuffle, deep down?" He grinned, and I couldn't feel any negativity or tension anymore - it was like our embrace had actually cast a spell. "Fuck, just talk to me. Tell me everything you think no one really cares about. Tell me about the things you've never bothered to discuss with anyone because they're so insignificant. I want it all." Kyle finished with a sunny smile, and for a second I swore I could almost see a rainbow arching between our warm gaze.

"You don't really want that, I'm pretty annoying when I get going," I laughed with apprehension, but Kyle squeezed my hand and interrupted.

"I'm not going to make a dumb threat about what I'm going to do when I find whoever convinced you that you're annoying," Kyle sneered at the final word. "Instead I'm going to focus on what matters. I could listen to you talk from the time the sun first peeked over the horizon to long after all respectable people have gone to sleep, and I don't think I'd even be done admiring your beautiful, expressive voice. Annoying? Out of the question. I'd happily listen to you talk about paint drying."

Kyle's words carried magic that made me feel warm inside; warm like that perfect week in fall before the leaves turn brown. I could feel the walls I had built up for years crumbling with the realization that this really was my mate. It was no longer me against the world; it was us against the world. He wasn't going to want me to contain myself, make myself a presentable package of normalcy. He wanted me; the real me that talks too much and likes to write sappy poetry. He wanted to listen to me sing too loud in the car and watch me embarrass myself crying over video games. He wanted all of me, even the side of me that society wasn't kind to.

I tried to form a response, but my resolve crumbled, and a little hiccup of a sob escaped. Kyle's response was immediate, as though he had been struck by lightning.

"It's been hard for a long time now, hasn't it," Kyle murmured quietly, pulling me back into his arms. I tried to steel myself for a response, but choked on the sobs bubbling up my throat. Not even the rain could hide my tears now, they were flowing into the rivulets streaming over my cheeks. "Goddess forgive me for making it worse," he sighed, but continued with an uptick in positivity. "I've done so little for you and you're coming apart. I don't know why you're trusting me like this, but I swear I won't let you down. You can be vulnerable. I've got your back. Now and forever."

My legs gave out, but Kyle's strong arms held fast, easily supporting my weight. I sank into his arms as he brought me aloft again, and wrapped my legs around as much of his torso as I could. Between sobs, I choked out, "barely hanging on."

Shifting my weight to one arm, Kyle brought his other hand to gently brush the hair out of my eyes that had plastered over my face from the rain. Softly, he coaxed me, "Barely hanging on?"

"I've been barely hanging on for a long time. I can't go it alone anymore. Please don't hurt me," I begged through tears. "Please don't hurt me. I'm so scared." Kyle cut me off with a kiss, not deep and romantic like our first, but reassuring and calming, a brief respite from my overwhelming emotions.

"Nothing's going to hurt you anymore. You can fall apart in my arms; I'll put you back together."