Shadows of Elegance [MeenBabe]

Chapter 17: Intersecting Thoughts

"No, you know what? I should head back home. It's getting late, and I've got work early," Aoom said, gently pulling her hand away from the woman's grasp. "Catch you later," she added, planting a quick kiss on the woman's cheek before making her way towards the exit. She couldn't bring herself to do it, not yet anyway. But, what would happen in a month? Or three?

The alcohol was buzzing in her veins, her mind too cluttered with thoughts. She hailed an Uber to take her home. It was 2:00 AM where she was, which meant it was around 3:00 PM in Thailand. As soon as she settled into the Uber, she decided to call Charlotte.

"Heey, is everything okay?" Charlotte's concerned face illuminated Aoom's phone screen, aware of the late hour.

"Hey," Aoom replied, uncertainty evident in her tone. "I'm not sure if everything's okay, Charlotte... Actually, I'm not sure about anything right now. Are you busy?" Aoom's voice rambled with uncertainty as she struggled to articulate her thoughts.

Charlotte's brow furrowed with worry. "No, I'm not busy, and even if I was, I'm not anymore. What's going on, Aoom? You sound troubled."

Aoom took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts. "It's Meena," she began, her voice tinged with sadness. "I left, and I told her not to wait for me, but... I miss her, Charlotte. I miss her so much it hurts."

Charlotte listened intently, her heart aching for her friend. "I can only imagine how hard this is for you, Aoom. But you made this decision for a reason. Why are you doubting it now?"

Aoom hesitated, struggling to find the words. "It's just... being away from her, it's making me question everything. I miss her warmth, her laughter... even her annoying habits. And it's not just that, Charlotte. I've met people here, good people who make me laugh, who make me feel alive again. But every time I'm with them, I can't shake this feeling of guilt, like I'm betraying Meena."

Charlotte's expression softened with understanding. "Aoom, it's natural to crave connection, especially when you're feeling lonely. But you're not betraying Meena by finding happiness in the present. You made a difficult choice to leave, but that doesn't mean you have to put your life on hold."

Aoom nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. "I know, but it's so hard. What if Meena moves on while I'm away? What if she finds someone else who makes her happy?"

"You can't control what Meena does, Aoom. All you can do is focus on yourself and your own journey. If your paths align again in the future, then that's wonderful. But for now, you need to prioritize your own happiness and well-being." Charlotte told her, having gone though a situation like that herself.

Aoom nodded, absorbing Charlotte's words, but her mind continued to whirl with uncertainty. "But what if... What if we could've made it work, and I was just too cowardly to try? What if I let fear dictate my decisions, and now I've missed out on one of the best things that have happened in my life?" Aoom's voice trembled with the weight of her doubts, her insecurities laid bare.

Charlotte sighed, recognizing the familiar pattern of self-doubt in her friend's words. "Aoom, it's natural to second-guess yourself, especially when emotions are involved. But you made the best decision you could at the time, with the information you had. You can't change the past, but you can learn from it and grow."

Aoom nodded slowly, her gaze searching Charlotte's face in her phone in the dark Uber. "But Char, how do you do it? How do you seem so calm now, so at peace with yourself?" A note of desperation crept into Aoom's voice, longing for the same sense of serenity she saw reflected in her friend's eyes.

Charlotte's smile faltered, her expression growing solemn. "Aoom, I wish I could tell you that I've completely overcome my own doubts and fears, but the truth is... I haven't. I've learned to ignore them, to push them aside and focus on the present. But deep down, I know that at some point, they'll come back to haunt me."