Survival of the Fittest 2024 || Closed

The Results || Round Three

Well done to our brilliant writers who progressed to the next round of Survival of the Fittest 2024. We're nearly at the final and we'll soon have our overall winner.

"""Through to next
* * TheQueenofGremlins Clay
* * ShyGuySamurai Meixong - Pass used
* * ACNPooo Kevin
* * FCCleary Sunny Summers

Those not progressing are :

* * MayaArche Shai Jensen
* * Paradisecitylights Jack Archer - left

Judges Feedback :

TheQueenofGremlins Clay
✅ Through to Next Round ✅

""I like that you just focus on writing Clay's story and give just little room on the backstage and end of the mission. Since I know a little bit of your main story, it fits of Clay's tale of her routine and the lab. It's so sad and cruel but beside that, I (yet again) love your submission.

Snape: You sound like a parrot repeating them over and over. How about you experience Azkaban and meet a Dementor? Less torture, more welcoming of death *smiles evilly* I approve it anyway. Your misfortunate tales are a bliss to my ears."" ""I hope that at some point in your actual story this facility gets raided, and everyone responsible for treating the inmates like that will die a horrible death. Given the nature of the character, it is admirable that Clay got this far in the contest. I'm eager to see more.

For the most time during Clay's story Rhojeka listens with her mouth and eyes wide open in disbelief and disgust. Even though she has her own share of stories to tell, her imagination has difficulties picturing such a horrible place, let alone living and training in it. Whatever the purpose of this facility is, she is certain that it must be nefarious. As the story ends, she claps and gives a Thumbs Up.

I throughly enjoyed reading your work and found myself really enjoying how you wrote your character telling the story. Even though you had your character speak you didn't forget they were still telling a story and you really made sure to add detail and it showed of your first person writing well.

"Winnie was so mesmerised by your words. Once finished he lifted both hands up in delight."""

ACNP000 Kevin
✅ Through to the next round ✅

""It's unique you give a backstory through brain image while the entire narration of this submission is in 1st POV (Kevin). I still preferred if the submissions were a bit less detailed so that it doesn't go more over 1K, but if you keep on at least 200-300+ extra, I'll make that an exception. Just don't go over 500-2K please ^

Snape: This nature show is quite boring *silently yawns* I was waiting for the beast to end up in an accident but of course my wishes are never gonna happen. It's a maybe for me.

Like my character in "Path of Exile" would utter so often: "Too much clutter!" The idea to use technology to give Kevin a mind and thus explain the 1st Person switch was pretty clever, I give you that. His story, though an overall unremarkable one, is told well, and his new comprehension of concepts adds to it. But: The build-up was too much, the focus on the workings of the machine was overdone, and the judges constantly commenting on the scene was unnecessary and disrupted the immersion. Also: With your focus on Show v Tell, the insertion of the judges felt a lot like they were just telling what was going on, while everything else was an excellent case of showing.

As the carnotaur is disconnected from the machine and everything calms down again, Rhojeka just sits in her place, with a very confused look on her face. Was that in accordance of the rules? The contestant did not "tell" the story, it just hooked up to a machine and let everyone else see some memories to form a story for their own.

She gives it a lot of time to consider, but in the end she shakes her head. Maybe he is not made for this contest. This is as far as he will go. She gives a Thumbs Down. I want to start by saying that out of all the entrees yours was the only one that wrote their whole story in 1st person. Which I throughly enjoyed as it shows a new side of a writer and challenges you. I also liked how your story was a story strong for the character It wasn't a backstory and I like how you described it and added something to make the first person narrative make sense. I did find the first paragraph very confusing and didn't really understand it. I also would have liked less input from the judges. Mainly because the judges are us we have our own personalities and by you creating them it loses the reason why they are there. Other than that I enjoyed it.

Winnie put his thumbs up.

FCCleary Sunny Summers
✅ Through to the next round ✅
The background and a little about Sunny blended well, it even sounded realistic. I also want to give a praise as this submission wasn't too detailed like the previous ones but kept in a good maximum word count.

Snape: How touching *claps only once* But it's a eh! For me *shrugging as a sign of 'maybe'*"" ""You made me cry. That's all I have to say about it. I don't care about anything else.

Rhojeka's face is glittering with tears as she listens to the story, as it reminds her of her own past and the people she lost. As the contestant comes to an end, she is unable to speak, barely holding in her emotions. All she can do is give a Thumbs Up.

I found your story very moving and thought it was well written as well as the 3 rd person narrative at the beginning. I think it was very well written but I would have loved to see how you would have taken on the prompt writing it all in 1st person and challenged your writing even more.

"Winnie found himself reaching for his tissues, but missed the box and instead his hand landed in the honey. What a tearful story. He is going to have to leave it to the other judges to decide"""

MayaArche Shai Jensen
❌ Not through to the next round ❌

""The use of quotation marks in the storytelling part has a slight bit of error. Some parts that don't have made me confused if Shai was still narrating out loud or a inner narration. The plot though was good. Sad and dark but I liked it. Also adding one little good eased it too.

Snape: *Just shrugs and gives hand sign of maybe*""

You fulfilled the prompt and focused on the story your character tells, so that is a plus. I read it twice before I realized that my issue is with the story itself: You tell of several events that could have made separate interesting stories in themselves. Had you just focused on one of them, and told them right, I would judge otherwise. But those three events with hardly any connection to each other, one that even had your character nearly die, make this whole thing feel irrelevant, as your character just puts them out there like a grocery list. Maybe your character is not much of a storyteller, but you as a writer really could have done better!

Rhojeka listens patiently from start to finish, but in the end she shakes her head. """"You have done your best,"""" she admits. """"But unfortunately I am not convinced. The art of telling a good story is a precious one, and it can move people if done right. The way you told yours feels like it doesn't really matter to you, despite the impact it had on your life. I don't feel any of it."""" With regret she shows a Thumbs Down."" ""I think overall it was a good story but I have to say the grammar really let it down. I think some re-reading needed doing. It felt very rushed and I would have liked it to have felt a lot slower and calm.

Winnie puts in honey down with a look of sadness. He will not be raising his thumbs.

Contest Notes

ShyGuySamurai Meixong - Pass used
✅ Will be progressing to the next round

Paradisecitylights Jack Archer
❌ Withdrew from contest