Girl from Oklahoma (Guns N Roses - Izzy Stradlin)

Mother

Rylee

I raise my hand for the third time but I can't bring myself to knock. My fist falls down to my side again and I sigh, turning my head to see if Slash's still with me.

He's standing a few feet away, shifting from one foot to the other, a cigarette dangling from his lips, hands in his pockets. He feels awkward I guess. Yeah, me too buddy.

I can't remember why I took him with me. All I know is that I didn't want to take Izzy. Some things I am not ready to share yet. And Slash's easy. He's always there to help.
And he is funny. Keeps my mind off things.

I look back at the front door, which definitely needs a new paint job. Raising my hand again, I force myself to knock this time. I can do this. I am travelling with a bunch of rockers for fucks sake. I am bad ass.

My hand hits the paint cracked door and I fight down the urge to puke.
After a couple of seconds, which felt like hours, the door opens and a woman appears. She gives me a bright smile.

"Hi there. How can I help you?" She says with a smile that fades into a frown when she notices Slash in the middle of her front yard.

We must look ridiculous together. For sure.
Me, standing right in front of her, dressed in a flower sundress with ankle boots and denim jacket. Slash shuffling through the front yard, chain smoking and dressed in leather. Not even speaking of the fact that his face is hidden behind his huge hair.

I chuckle. He must look like my pimp or worse: like my personal drug dealer. I can't quit staring at her. The moment she opened the door, I knew she was my mother.
She had my hair, my smile and my eyes.

I can feel a load taking off my mind. I can't believe I really found her. My blood is rushing and I can hear the pounding of my heart in my ears. Oh lord, I hope I'm not gonna faint.
Clearing my throat, I try to speak.

"I...uhhh... are you Anne O'Connell? Uhm...I... I mean O'Reiley?' Fuck, I behave like a lunatic.

She frowns even more, looking at me. Is she growing pale?

"Who wants to know?" Wow, her voice is ice cold. A shiver runs down my spine and I suddenly feel like running. "And who's that punk? Hey! Get the hell away from my geraniums!" She yells out to Slash.

"Fuckin square. Like I'm gonna steal her fuckin flowers or something." I hear Slash mumble.

Focusing back on my mother I catch her frowning at me. I try hard to keep my confidence.

"Who are you?" She asks again.

"I'm... uh... my name is Rylee. Rylee O'Connell. That's my friend Slash." I say, pointing out behind me without leaving her eyes.
I think she even turns paler than before.

"Rylee?" She whispers and I can see her grabbing the door frame to steady herself.

Oh my fucking god. She really knows who I am.

"Aye. And I think you're my ma." I say, letting my Irish accent slip purposely.

***

I think I had a blackout or something. All I can remember is me sobbing, my ma sobbing and slash swearing a lot.

I find myself sitting on her couch, holding a cup of coffee in my hands. Slash is sitting beside me. He looks totally out of place on this cream white couch, decorated with flowery pillows. I'm very grateful he didn't bail on me. This must really freak him out.

"How did you find me?" My ma asks.

I'm a little surprised. It's been nearly twenty years and she's still living in the same place. The first address I found on the paperwork.

"I guess you never cared to hide." I shrug. She nods.

"Does your father know you're here?" She asks. For a second I can see fear in her eyes. I wonder if she knew who she left me with.

"You mean the mobster?" I confront her. "And the murdering brother, you left me with?"

Even if I thought it wouldn't be possible, she turns even paler than before.

"Pat...Patrick... he is...? Oh my god."  She bursts out in tears. Hiding her face in her palms, she sobs like a lunatic. I'm not sure what to think of it.

Slash, awkwardly silent until now, eyes me suspiciously. Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a flask and takes a sip. Then he hands it over to me. Aye, that's exactly what I need right now. Whiskey. Straight.

I take a big gulp and try to hold my tears. Fuck me. When are those damn morons going to learn to drink the good stuff? This JD is really getting on my nerves. I'm fucking Irish for god's sake.

My ma is still sobbing. I'm here for answers. This is not going the way I panned it. Damn, I'm losing my patience.

"Why the fuck did you leave me with them?" I ask. ýIs Patty even

my real brother?ý

This shit was going way to slow here.

She looks up into my eyes. Her eyes are bloodshot but I don't care. I want fucking answers right now.

"I...god, Rylee...I was so damn young when I got Patrick." She wipes her nose with her sleeve.
"I had no idea what I was getting into. And by the time I got pregnant with you I learned that those people weren't the nice family they pretended to be."

Shaking my head I grab Slash's flask without even looking at him. I take another sip and scrunch my nose.

"Damn, why did you leave me with them? Why didn't you take me with you? I have no idea who those people are anymore."

She looks at me, tears running down her cheeks. I can't believe this woman left me behind.

"I was terrified. He... your da... he promised me to take good care of you two. But he said if I ever tried to contact you, I'll be six feet under." She sobs again. "And your da... you have no idea what he's capable of."

My ass! I am exactly aware of what my father and brother are capable of. I witnessed a cold blooded murder for god's sake.

Not that Mickey had been pure and innocent as a dove, but killing him? I don't think he deserved a drastic step like that.

"Does your father know you're here? Rylee... this is serious. He can't know..."

She says anxiously and grabs my wrist. I suddenly regret coming here. What did I think? Messing with other people's life like this?
I pet her hand.

"No worries. He doesn't know where I am. I won't tell."

I look a Slash at my side and feel grateful he joined me. He's the right guy for this, because I need some serious boozing right now.