dancing in the stars (ballerina x singer wlw romance)

chapter fifteen

I try to ignore the fact that if we win, 17k will be mine. I don't want to look desperate by reaction to it. "How is this any different than what you do? I mean, you're dancing."

She hesitates for a moment and my heart sinks when she moves her head back to the waves. I force myself to do the same.
Summer blows out a shaky breath before speaking. "What we're doing is different from my dance classes with Madame Daisy. With you, I feel... free. I get to decided what music I'm dancing to, which moves, my clothes, my hairstyle and... it's fun. The Academy is different." her voice is low, soft like she's telling me a secret.

"Do you not have fun there?"

She freezes at my question and my heart twists thinking I asked the wrong thing but she parts her lips before I can apologize. "I used to. Dancing used to be fun, it was the thing that made me feel alive, good, happy. Now... it just feels like a job."

My heart stings at her confession. "You don't want to have a career out of it?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." I turn my face to find her with her eyes close and I try not to memorize those countless freckles under her eyes and nose, how the moonlight shines in her face. I try. I really do try. "I've been writing a lot these years, whenever I have time. I'm majoring in Literature because it's something I like, you know— reading and writing." she chuckles like it's the most stupid thing she said. It's not.

"Then, be a writer." I shrug.

She finds me watching her and I don't break our contact. It feels too good to break it. "Dancing is my life."

"Is it?"

Summer sighs and gives me the saddest smile I've ever seen on her. She always looks tired, but tonight? Under the moonlight, just the two of us? She looks completely exhausted. Like she's about to pass out. Her face pales and she looks in front of us once again.
My mind wonders what secrets does she have? Is her life that good? Is she happy? She just admitted that she doesn't enjoy dancing like she used to– why does she keep doing it? Are her moms forcing her? I mean– I know some parents are a piece of shit, my own mother is like that but her moms seem nice people, right?

"You can't sleep?" I ask once I notice she's not giving me an answer. I just want to hear her voice. I could spend hours just listening to her. That's not normal, a voice in my head whispers.

"Nope." she presses her lips together. "It's hard to fall asleep when you have so much in your head." My lips curve. Yeah, tell me about it. "You?"

"Same." I nod. "I... I still can't decide which song we're gonna use."

"We have time."

"It's two months away."

"Still. It's enough." she shrugs. "We can go tomorrow to my house. Use my mom's studio so you can play around with sounds and– whatever you do, to help you listen to your songs in a different way."

I suck in a breath. "I've never been in a professional studio before." my voice comes out in a whisper.

"Gotta get use to it, Willow James. I'm pretty sure you gonna rule the world." she smiles, her hazel eyes shining under the stars and my heart flutters. Fuck me. "So, what do you say?"