I am at my worst right now.
I've been relapsing everyday, sometimes twice a day.
I am depressed, I've been trying to talk to women but they always treat me so poorly.
It hurts me, I think I will be alone forever.
I don't understand how these things work, I can never be myself.
My addiction turns into a safe place where I can hide.
I feel like crying, I've always done my best and it never works, I feel like shit, this reinforces my idea that I may be relapsing cause I know that I am unloveable.
Everytime I am abandoned it feels worse than the time before.
It's hard not to get my soul full of hatred, Although I'm trying my best for that not to happen.
I don't want to tell anyone my feelings anymore, they just don't care, they just see me as a pessimistic piece of shit who just needs therapy or something.
I may need, but that doesn't change the fact that I will always be all by myself.
I don't believe anyone anymore, modern society has killed love and everything that was once good and valuable.
I just feel hopeless, wanted someone to talk to.
I don't know what is worth seeking anymore...
