Strangers | Jean Kirstein College AU

9. Hard to Let Go

Song of the chapter: Hard to Let Go - Men I Trust

You were sitting on a picnic bench at a park off-campus. It was quieter here, making the situation all the more awkward. The boy opposite you watched you with his piercing green eyes and took in your body language. It was obvious you would rather be anywhere but here. He had prepared for this conversation before but was struggling to get the words out. He swallowed the lump in the throat and spoke.

"I just want to apolog-" "Listen, not to be rude but, I really don't care." You interrupted him. "I don't wanna hear your excuses."

He was stunned silent. There wasn't much more he could do but just stare at you, he didn't think you'd be so angry. His outburst must have embarrassed you more than he thought. Eren felt panic creep up his spine at the thought that Armin could be right, he had pushed one too many times. Eren was watching you slip through his fingers. He took a deep breath to calm down. The fact that you were here having this conversation is a good sign. If you were done with him, you wouldn't be here, and he knew that.

"I don't have any excuses. I know the way I spoke to you at the party can't be excused." He sighed, "I don't even know why it bothered me so much that you and Connie kissed..." He trailed off trying to recall the memory.

"I'm not bothered about that." You scoffed and brushed your hand through your hair in frustration.

Eren tilted his head in confusion, "Well... why have you been ignoring all my messages then? Why are you so angry at me right now?" He questioned in a genuine and soft tone.

"Because you text me to come over, and who do I see when I walk past your building? Oh, none other than Historia." You spoke impassionedly, gesturing with your hands for impact. "You fucking invited me and her to yours at the same time AGAIN!" You raised your voice on the last word, struggling to keep your anger inside.

Eren was astonished by your words. He did no such thing, "What?! No. I didn't invite her over. She just turned up at mine with a random hoodie saying it was mine and that she was returning it. But I told her to fuck off."

It was your turn to be shocked. However, it only lasted for a moment. Historia lying, that's not anything new. Suddenly you felt incredibly embarrassed. Groaning, you rested your head against your arms, which were resting on the table.

"It's okay. I mean... I can't exactly blame you for believing her."

You looked up, seeing Eren with a small smile on his lips, but it brought you little comfort.
"Why are we doing this, Eren?" You asked exhausted.

"I uh- don't know what you mean?"

"We shouldn't even need to have any conversations about this type of thing. You shouldn't be bothered that I kissed Connie, this shouldn't be a triangle with Historia. It should have just been simple." You began to ramble, voicing the thoughts you were having recently. "Weren't we just meant to be casual hook-ups for each other? Why is this getting so complicated?" You asked, knowing the answer.

It was obvious feelings were beginning to get involved. Eren began to get emotionally invested. Neither of you particularly understood in what way. Was he just angry that you weren't emotionally interested in him, or did he genuinely like you? Either way, you knew this had to end or it would just get worse.

"Let's stop this." You finalised.

"... Okay." Eren croaked out. He didn't think the conversation would take this direction. Maybe he was cocky, but he was sure you'd forgive him and things would go back to normal. He decided not to argue against your decision, saving himself from further embarrassment. In a last-ditch effort, he said, "Can we be chill, though?" He spoke slowly and quietly as if he was scared to make a wrong move.