Versification of my soul

Why do they?

What do they accomplish by making me cry?
What do they get by taunting me?
What do they believe in after disgracing me?
What do they get after making me feel worse of all?
What do they get by comparing me to everyone?
What do they get by telling lies?
What do they feel when I tell them my sorrows?
What do they get when they don't listen to my side?
What do they get by bullying me?

Why do they burden me with things I don't know of?
Why do they hand me all trauma?
Why do they get disappointed even if I give 100% ?
Why do they play the victim in everyone's story?
Why before listening to my problems they say their own?
Why do they expect so much from me?
Why do they fulfill their dreams by crushing mine?
Why do they treat me all differently??
Why do they give mixed feelings towards me??

I can't understand them
Same way maybe they don't understand me
Oh how the way they make me feel
As if I should've never born
I can't seem to get free
From all the shackles I've been bound to

Healing everyone , destroying myself
Fulfilling their dreams, disappointing myself
Creating different me, losing myself
Making them proud, never accepting myself
Healing their trauma, giving a new one to myself
Being mature at young, forgetting my true self
Hoping in them, loathing myself..

I am lost
In this Abyss
I can't seem to find the path out
Why haven't I received the death's kiss?

I wish they would beat me physically
I wish they would leave scars on my skin
I wish they would stop mental abuse
I wish they would stop torturing me emotionally
I wish they would use their hands instead of words

Emotionally taking all the abuse and leaving scars
It's the worst, worst than leaving bruises on skin
The wounds heal and leave scars that don't hurt
But what about the unhealed wounds inside me?
What about all the bleeding I'm having?

I want to scream

Scream so loud

Scream till my throat is sore

Scream for you

Scream at you

Scream for all those years

Scream to relieve whatever I'm feeling

Scream for myself

Scream for me...

And yet when I open my mouth

Nothing comes but a whisper.