I'm here for you

i miss you

 LOUIS' POV

my name is louis tomlinson

4 years before. 

(A.N  louis would be 14 and harry the same, all the boys are the same age exept for niall, he's 13 as thats how i want it)

i met harry and i never believed in love at first sight but i decided maybe i was wrong. the only thing is i dont know if he's straight. he probably is. cus im just some weirdo kid whos a fuck up. why would anyone go out with me??? im just being stupid. of course he wont like me back. he's too perfect for that.

"LOUIS WILLIAM TOMLINSON!!!" a voice yells up the stairs bringning me out of my daydream. "THERE IS SOMEONE BY THE NAME OF HARRY STYLES HERE TO SEE YOU" i sigh. this could be interesting. i chuck my duvet of me and get out of bed. i walk to the door before realising im only in my boxers. my hair is a mess, i have bags under my eyes and my eyes are bloodshot and there are tear stains on my face. i hadnt even realised i was crying. i sigh once again and yell"BE DOWN IN A MINUTE MUM" i grab my dean lewis hoodie of the floor and a t-shirt as well as some jeans. i open my door and go down the landing to the bathroom, i open the door and star at my face. i dump my stuff on the floor and shut the door and also lock it. i cant risk anyone finding out about what im about to do.

TW:

 "stupid idiot" i mutter to myself and stand on my tippy toes to open the cupboard that's high up so the girls dont reach it. i grab the razor my dad uses everyday. i drag the razor along my left wrist. i wince in pain but ignore it. its worth it. a uselss piece of shit like me deserves this. i lift it up, run it under the tap and place it about half a centimetere abouve the now bleeding cut, i dig deeper this time. "stupid... stupid... stupid... i should die, nobody cares. everyone hates me" i mutter again and again and again. eventually i stop. i look at myself in the mirror. i sigh as i see more tears streaming down my face.

END OF TW:

i go to the shower and turn it on. i grab a towel and dump it next to the shower. as i get in i hear phoebe yelling to hurry up as she really needs to pee. i sigh and yell "gimme 10 minutes or go downstairs." i laugh to myself as i hear her running down the stairs yelling at mum that im taking too long and that she's about to piss herself. i can just imagine my mum rolling her eyes.

i stand in the shower and as the warm water hits my back, i start thinking about harry. i think about a lot of things. eventually i grab the strawberry scented paw patrol shampoo and sqeeze a generous amount onto my hair and rub it in. i rinse it out and stupidly get some in my eye"fuck" i think as it really stings. 

once i get out of the shower i dry myself, carefully avoiding my cuts as i dont want blood on my mum's white towells, and i grab some baby wipes and wrap the around my wrist. "there. much better" i say, i carry on getting dressed and as i put my hoodie on, i am very careful not to touch the wipes as theyre not as good as bandages but they'll have to do until i go the the phamacy later.

i unlock the door and also wash dad's razor so there's no blood left on it, and put it back where it was before. 

i walk out the bathroom and towards the stairs and i go downstairs straight into the kitchen. my mum is there with harry. theyre deep in conversation so i dont interuppt. i walk to the cupboard, grab a boal and sppon as well as the coco pops and put them on the counter and walk to the fridge. i open the door and look for the milk. eventually i sigh deeply and say "muuuuuuuuuum there's no miiiiilk" my mum and harry look up, it seems they havnt noticed me. "great, another two people who dont care about me2 i think to myself. "oh hi there boo bear" my mum says, boo bear has always been her name for me and i hate it but she loves it so i let er use it only cus it makes her happy. "yes i know, i was wondering if i gave you money, would you mind popping to the little tesco down the road? i thought you and harry could walk together??" i sigh, yippee, my mum doesnt know im gay and that im falling for harry. so i cant blame her for not knowing but it still irritates me."its fine. i'll just skip breakfast." i roll my eyes and just walk out the room.

i hear my mum asking harry if she knows whats up with me as ive been acting weird lately.

what did you think?? ive never written anything before so i hope its okay.

913 words.