I remember the first time I got high
It was with a man three times my size
He was 5'6
I stand tall
5'9
We both liked coloring outside the lines.
I swear, he's better than the "average guy"
He doesn't fuck, he makes love
He gets medium instead of small fries
In his eyes, I become a girl in woman disguise
But
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised
That he had
a wife and kids
I mean
He was three times my size
He was 36
I stand tall
16
His wife was prom queen
Blond hair
Pretty-er on screen.
After the affair,
she took the kids for ice cream.
She didn't call it what it was
Statutory
Isn't as delicate as
infidelity.
But
I guess it makes sense
When they met
He was three times her size
He was a football star
She was still in junior high
When they make love he doesn't see her cry
When they fuck he doesn't see the blood run down her thighs
I smoke every day now
I always see his face when I'm high
My sobriety brings no difference
What I feel is what I see
I have psychosis
so
I fear white teeth
They remind me of the way he used to
Bite
Prod
and
Brand me
I was 13 when I first tried Hennessy
But
He told me it was lemonade
The kind that makes you forget yesterday
My therapist says this kind of shit isn't ok
She said I should stop smoking weed
It's making my brain see
Things that happened when I was 15
But it's no surprise
He was 3 times my size
When I ask him why he loves my little size
He draws my heart in big red chalk
He says my love is supersize
And in his eyes,
I'm a girl in woman disguise.
His romance sleeps
inside my pubescence
and
baby teeth.
