I've thought about what I'll miss when I die.
I always land on music.
Orchestras, choirs, ballads,
Simple song
I'll miss
The way you can almost taste it
Like thick jelly rolls.
Glazed in syrup and jazz
Stuffed with cream and bass
I'll miss the way it tickles my ear
And whispers sweet everything's
I'll miss the way it almost feels like a window into the eyes
And thus the soul
Of the universe
Into its mind
Into what it's thinking
What we're all thinking
And I'll miss her
The way she loved me
The way she destroyed me
The way she hated me
The way she whispered bitter nothings into my nightmares
The way she embodied both god and the devil
The way she made me a preacher and a satanist
The way she licked every inch of glaze off my jelly roll
And still begged for seconds
The way she tasted me until she fell into diabetic shock
And died
I miss her
And I'll miss her when I die
And I'll miss music when I die
Because these were moments when I truly felt alive
When I no longer understood pain,
but I met it
Said hello,
Became friends,
And engaged in making sweet love.
Pain and I got married on January 16, 2004
I've thought about what I'll miss when I die
I'll miss you.
I miss you.
