I remember the day I saved him from the hurricane.
The day I jumped into dangerous water to stop him from drowning
The day I opened up his airways to stop him from choking.
The day I breathed life into his wounds to stop him from dying.
The day I scalped myself to stop him from freezing.
But
I also
remember the day I became a memory.
The day
He skinned me alive to make himself a black leather jacket.
Not because he was cold
It was 90 degrees in SoCal
The ground could broil flesh
He just wanted to look nice
To fit his aesthetic
To be desirable.
So he skinned me alive to make himself a black leather jacket.
But
After a month,
He grew tired of it.
He changed his aesthetic.
He threw the jacket away
Fur had become the new leather.
But
It's been years
Winter has arrived again.
I've been digging through trashcan after trashcan
I've been trying to find my skin
My peel
My rind
I've been trying to remember the shape of my body-the form.
But
No matter how much I look, I cannot find it.
I cannot get warm.
The concrete has started to freeze
And I'm beginning to smell my own bones
rot.
My memory has started to mold.
And I'm beginning to dissolve into the
cold.
