Needy (Lashton) (AU)

Chapter 3

"It's fine," Jack said sharply, "I don't wanna know how long I have left to live," Jack spoke, he tried to be loud, but his throat was too raw and damaged, so his voice remained quiet, but forceful.

"I do-"

"Mam, it's patients orders, if he refuses the information, then we cannot give it out." She spoke.

"I'm his mother, I have legal rights over him, he's my son, you have to tell me," She spoke.

"Uhm," The nurse mumbled while fumbling through her charts, "He told me he doesn't want to know, and he doesn't want anyone else to know," She said while biting her lip in fear of what Liz would say next.

Luke's mom always acted like this, she hated waiting and she wanted to know exactly what was going to happen. And as morbid as it sounds, she wanted to know how long her son had to live. Jack didn't even want to be alive anymore, and he knew that if he had a long time left, he would feel disappointed.

Liz groaned in frustration, burying her head in her hands before storming out. The nurse, who shot both the boys a sympathetic smile, soon followed after her.

"Why wont you let them tell you how long you have?" Luke asked while playing with the edge of the paper thin blanket. Jack scrunched his face up at the words, as if he thought his brother was the stupidest person alive for asking such a simple question.

"I don't need a confirmation to know that I am going to die soon, it's just logic," Jack spoke, "And death shouldn't be planed out, it just happens." He shrugged.

"But-"

"Look, Luke, would you really want to know how much longer to live if you were dying? I am already sick and tired of all this, I don't want a stupid doctor to tell me that I have so and so months left." He snapped, making Luke pout.

Luke wanted to understand, but he couldn't. Luke wasn't going through the same thing, which was obviously a good thing. It was also obvious that in a way Luke wanted to be able to relate to his brother, in any way, and he couldn't. Jack was the only one in his family that even acknowledged Luke, and the thought of having him gone was definitely not a good one. 

"I don't want yo to die," Luke mumbled, a bundle of tears gathering at the back of his throat which his tried his hardest to swallow away.

"It's a natural part of life Luke, I can't escape it," Jack spoke blankly, as if he didn't even care about it.

----

Luke absolutely hated coffee, he didn't like the taste because it was to bitter and no one ever bothered to tell him that he could sweeten it up with some sugar or creamer. But here he was at 6 a.m sipping on a cup of black coffee in which he had sneaked into the teacher's lounge to get a hold of, cringing each time the liquid goes down his throat. It was Monday, which made things even worse because all Luke wanted to do was lay in bed and watch movies, maybe even call Calum over to cuddle, although Michael probably wouldn't like that. But no, the boy had to go to school, which he was in no mood for. He was extremely exhausted and didn't feel well enough to even participate in life.

The blonde haired boy sat on the ground of the floor, waiting for Michael and Calum to arrive. He was early because he didn't want to run into either of his parents who were always in their worst mood on Mondays. Sunday had been a bad day, Jack got to come home because they thought he was well enough, but as soon as they arrived, they had to head right back. Doctors were quite stupid, Luke thought, if he is ill he should stay in the hospital, not head home and risk getting worse.

Luke didn't want to start getting upset, because he knew if he did then it would be a hard feeling to shake. Once he gets sad, he stays sad. And when he's sad he is also grumpy, which means there would most definitely be tears shed at least three times by the end of the school day. Luke rubbed his eyes and pouted, trying to stay awake for the most part. He didn't feel his age, he hardly ever did anymore, he was okay a few months ago, the doctors actually thought he was going to be normal. But then something just snapped inside him, it was just like when he was thirteen again, only now, there was no sign of support from his family, they could only give their attention to one child it seemed, and right now that was Jack.

"Lukey, why are you on the ground," Calum said with a chuckle as he arrived, tearing Luke from his thoughts, while squatting down next to Luke.

Calum could read Luke like a book, he always knew when Luke wasn't feeling himself. And often the older boy got quite frustrated because he never knew exactly how to make Luke feel better. When Luke was feeling miserable it was like he was standing in quicksand, slowly sinking deeper and deeper the more he struggled to break free.

The brown haired boy was usually decent at saying the right thing at the right time. It was kind of like he had a 50% chance of not upsetting the boy. And he thought he was doing okay, but the second Luke's face folded into a pout and his eyes squeezed shut, Calum knew he had somehow messed up.

"I-I'm sorry! I- Mom a-and D-dad were still asleep s-so I left a-and you weren't here y-yet so I-" Luke said while hiccuping, making Calum refrain from groaning in frustration, he knew Luke couldn't help it. The older boy silenced Luke by grabbing his hand that didn't have coffee in it and pulling him up to his feet, leading him towards the boys bathroom.

"God Luke," Calum said while taking the cup from the boy once they reached the bathroom, "This stuff isn't good for you, plus you hate coffee," He spoke while tossing it into the bin.

"I-I'm tired," Luke whined, making Calum frown while pulling the boy into a hug. He comfortingly rubbed Luke's back, trying his hardest to calm him.

"Aren't we all," The kiwi boy joked, while pulling out of the hug, making Luke crack a small smile.

"Now, what's wrong?" Calum asked, to say he was worried about Luke was an understatement.

"Just wanna go home and sleep," Luke mumbled while playing with his thumbs.

The bathroom fell silent, which Luke liked, to much chaos, even from just one person, made him feel uneasy. The only sound was the somewhat loud air vent that hung from the ceiling. The small window provided the room with a small orange tint from the sun that was still in the process of rising. Luke's red face, and eyes, still showed evidence that he had been crying, but the bags under his eyes shined brighter than the blotchiness.

Calum was the only one who knew why Luke acted the way he did. Luke didn't want anyone to find out, but Calum was an exception. One day Calum had went over to Luke's house and found him crying, and after hours of persuading, the blonde had eventually confessed his secret. Calum was greatly confused, and quite disturbed almost, but then Luke explained everything, his desires, his dreams and why he does what he does. Calum understood and he knew that it wasn't Luke's fault. It could have been anyone, and they might have had the same exact reaction. It was how Luke coped, and even though it was different, it definitely made him feel better.

"C'mon, let's go find Mikey, he's probably looking for us-" Calum started to say, "Don't worry Luke, I'll tell him that you aren't in a good mood and that he needs to be nice," Calum finished, making Luke smile.

That's why Calum was his best friend, he actually cared and looked out for Luke, which Luke was extremely grateful for. The blonde boy felt safe and reassured when he had Calum by his side because he knew that if anyone were to mess with him, Calum would most definitely protect him Luke also knew that even though Michael sometimes acted like he hated him, at the end of the day, if Luke were hurt, Michael would be there to support him. Luke just deep down wished he had someone like Calum had Michael. He wanted a boyfriend, he wanted someone to show their love for him and take care of him. But Luke was worried about his future, he knew he was extremely weak and made him feel distressed to think someone could possibly not love Luke because of something like that, something that he can't help.