If I Can't Have Him...

Only fools rush in

He sat on his knees beside the tub and filled a glass for Yoongi first “there's room in here for you to join me” Yoongi spoke softly as he accepted the wine glass 

“I know” he smiled as he took a sip from his own glass and sat it down. He leaned forward and crossed his arms on the edge of the tub, resting his chin on his arms and looking at Yoongi like he was the most amazing person in the world. He held so many emotions in his pretty brown eyes that Yoongi felt a little breathless “this is about you hyung. Take your time, and I'm here if you need me” he smiled 

And oh… this is what it feels like to be in love. 

It wasn't a shocking realization, not really. Jeongguk has felt like home since he saw him again that first time in the shelter. But it did startle him just how fast he had fallen into him and how comfortable he was with not trying to dig himself out. Yoongi has dated a lot. His longest relationship was with Felix, but even that didn't feel like this. None of them did. 

It seemed like Jeongguk was made perfectly for Yoongi. Everything he could ever want in a partner was wrapped with a bow and presented as Jeongguk. And Yoongi hoped the feelings were mutual. He felt like they were, but to save himself from possible embarrassment, he stopped himself from blurting it out too soon. 

“thank you Guk” he whispered “for everything. I know it's been a crazy month.. but I wouldn't trade any of this for the world, and I want you to know how much I care about you and appreciate you being here for me” 

“there's nowhere else I'd rather be hyungie. I'm happy to be with you, I care about you a lot too, so much. And I appreciate you being with me. Thank you, for letting me get to know you again, and letting me show you the way you deserve to be loved” he smiled again and Yoongi felt all of the stress and tension leave his body as his heart swelled. 

He smiled at Jeongguk, and the two of them continued on in silence. Yoongi laid there relaxing, listening to the music as he sipped his wine, and eventually Jeongguk moved to wash his hair for him. He handled him with care, softly massaging his head and washing his hair, and then used a soapy rag to clean down Yoongi's body. He didn't shy away when it came to cleaning his ass or groin, and he didn't sexualize it either. He just genuinely wanted to groom him and comfort him. 

He unplugged the water and rinsed Yoongi off before helping him to stand. He took a warm towel to dry him off and wrapped him in the fluffiest robe he owned before helping him out of the tub and into the bedroom where he had his comfiest sweats and a large oversized shirt for him. 

Yoongi put the shirt on, forgoing the sweats, and sank down onto Jeongguk’s bed. Jeongguk just smiled as he stripped himself of his clothes. He grabbed the sweats he had out for Yoongi and slid them on himself, going shirtless as he crawled into the bed beside him. He wrapped him up in his arms, holding his back against his chest before he lifted the blankets and covered them. 

“I know it's still early, I don't want to nap, I just want to lay here for a while” 

“Whatever you need, baby, I'll be here” he kissed his head 

“Thank you, Gukkie. For letting me love you too” 

Jeongguk was elated. He held him tighter and closed his eyes as he smiled wider than he had in his whole life. 

He knew there was something else bothering his boyfriend. He could feel it, Yoongi was keeping something to himself, and Jeongguk wouldn't pry, but he'd make sure that no matter what, he was there for him. He'd help in any way that he could and help ease his worries. 

Yoongi deserved all of the happiness in the world, and Jeongguk would do everything in his power to give it to him. 

A few hours later, Yoongi woke up alone. He was groggy, mouth dry, eyes sore. He reached for Jeongguk, but the bed was cold. He frowned and rolled over to find a glass of water and some Tylenol on the end table. He smiled as he stretched and sat up to take the medicine and drank the entire glass of water.