Rollercoaster of emotions. BxB

Chapter 8. Cuts

TW: CUTTING

BLAKE'S POV

I really have a bad feeling about that new girl I just don't trust her. She gets me so worried, why am I like this. Why can't I be normal like everyone else. WHY CAN'T I BE NORMAL! I feel so weak like this. I hate everyone and everything, but no one will ever understand since I'm just a bully, and that's all I'll ever be I guess. I need the craving of love, I need the comfort of someone sweet voice. School was over and I was just sitting on the outside bench looking at everyone else leave while I'm just here.

After 10 minutes of me being lost into my own thoughts I decided to get up. I felt miserable and sad. Something was wrong my arm, my brain was saying bad things and I need to do something.

AT HOME

I got on my front porch and unlocked the door. I still had the urge to just cut..I lost control of my body and next thing you know I was in my room with my door locked, I was on the floor with a blade on the hard wooden floor. I felt salty tears roll down my face, I pushed the blade onto my skin and slid it across my arm. It hurt so bad but felt so good..

I looked at my arm and felt the urge to do more. So I did.. I continued to do more and more but I stopped due to my whole wrist filled with blood, injuries, and cuts. I found some bandages in my room so I undid them and wrapped my cuts with them. I smiled at my cuts. I felt so much better and happier.

Hm I always wonder? Will I get my chance with you Liam? I really don't know but probably not after all the s-itty things I've done to you. I got on my bed and knocked out quick.

THE NEXT DAYY~

I woke up with a bomb as* headache, arghh. I sat up on the edge of my bad and looked at my arms.

"great just great..I guess I'll be wearing a long sleeve"

I got up and walked to my closet and looked for a long sleeve shirt or a sweater. Yeah I think I'll just wear a sweater. I found this brown sweater, looks good then I found this black shirt. I mean it's not like nobody gunna see it anyway.

I twisted the nob to hot water. I love hot water, and undressed myself. I waited what felt like one million years. Time for a nice s-

"AHHHH, OW OW, WHAT THE FUC-"

I screamed in pain, I completely forgot I had cuts. I set the water to normal temperature, and stepped in again so cold, I took a ten minute shower because of how cold the water. I put my black sweatpants on and my shirt and sweater. I was drying off my hair and decided to check the time.

"WHAT, NAH BRO I GOTTA LEAVE IN FIVE MINUTES!"

I ran to my bathroom to brush my teeth and check out my self for like a minute, I found a pack of gum in my backpack and started chewing it.

"B-BYE MOM, LOVE YOU BUT GOT TO GO!"

"bye sw-"

I ran to bus stop and the bus just arrived, Thank goodness. I got onto the bus and sat in my seat, and I saw Liam pass me but he was talking to Sabrina or whatever her name is. I slightly frowned by the look he gave her.

"I'll never be like her" I mumbled under my breath

I plugged in my headphones and started playing music. Some of my favorites are "I can't do this anymore, six forty seven, white tee, teen romance, 505, freak show, and sweater weather."
I let those songs play in my ears, til I realized we were here. I continued playing the music but I just paid attention more. I got up from my seat and walked off. I could Liam out of my mind, my ears, my thought, my heart.