Inside and Out

Chapter 1

From
"SIDHARTH SHUKLA is going to take the tv industry by storm"
"This model turned actor has become a household name in Indian homes"
to
"Actor Sidharth Shukla accused of some unruly claims by co-actor Rashmi Desai"
"He is an unprofessional maniac and a psycho. I think he needs psychiatric treatment again. I heard he had gone to rehab once and I think he needs to visit it again." Quoted another co-actor.

Showbiz is a kind of whirlwind that just sucks you right into it and clouds you from the outside reality and strips you naked until you are left with nothing to protect yourself. Fame was like a drug and makes you chase it till you get addicted to it. Our young hero was not a stranger to this phenomenon. He was always on the run and didn't realise how tired he was getting and kept burning out. It caught up to him and hit all at once, and there was no one to catch him. Because he was so busy in chasing something that was so indefinite and abstract that he let go of the pictures that were present on his desk, and now all it had were some hollow frames just like his heart. Those smiling faces in the pictures were now haunting him. He started to question which was even the real him. Alas, he couldn't help but sigh on his situation that was looming over his head, locked himself inside his room. He was fighting an internal battle within in contrast to the deafening silence in the room.

It's been days since he got out of the room, he was slipping into the dark loom of thoughts. It's been days since his mom had a good night's sleep. How could she when her baby was suffering in the room beside. She wanted to be optimistic, actually needed to be but the pessimist world was bringing her morale down. Just then her phone rings, and looking down at it, was an incoming call from her favourite child Sana.

"hello, beta"

"Aunty...woh Sid.. Maine suna.."

"Thik nhi hain woh, apne room ke andar band pada hain" she got emotional even talking about it.

"Solution kya hain aunty iska?"

"Nhi pata beta, bohot numb hogaya hain, kuch bolta nhi, hasta nhi, rota nhi, bas ek zinda laash jaise pada rehta hain.." she chocked up.

Listening to this, sana was speechless. He never ever cared about people judging him or even misunderstanding him. Her sid was the one who taught her to fight for your right even if the world is against it, always behind her to give her a push and was always there to celebrate her wins and loses. She remembers all the times he dealt with her tantrums, her anxiety, in such a calm manner that he had become a safe space for her. Always the first and the last face she saw before her dance performances. Remembering her last performance, that was a few days before his graduation, how he calmed her down within seconds so she could dance her heart out. When she needed him, he was there, throughout college her was her rock. Although her heart was broken by him, she couldn't take away of the humongous spritz of magic he had been in her life. And her impulsiveness started to take lead, her mind already making plans"

"Sana hello-Sana tu hain dusri taraf" rita aunty's voice got her out of her thoughts

"haan aunty, bas kuch soch rhi thi, aap apna khayal rakhna, jald hi sab kuch thik hojaayega, main karke rahungi, bye auntyy"
"Arey su-" sana cut the call without even letting the other person utter a single word.

The next night, it was around 12.30 when sana landed in india, and shehbaaz, her brother had come to pick her up. Coming to India after almost 8 years felt surreal. She missed it, the smell, the breeze, the chipper-chatter as her heartbeat started to blend in with it. The drive to her childhood home was filler with what ifs, what if he doesn't even talk to her, what if he ignores her as he did before, and the biggest one... what if she didn't matter to him at all. Her insecurities were playing football with her determination, and time could only tell which one will succeed.

"shehabaa kaisa hain tu, sab kaise hain?" she asks her brother to distract herself.

"sab changa si, aur tu jo karne wali hain, tu ready hain kya?" he asked looking right into her eyes, he knew the pain her sister went through.

"ha-haan karlungi yaar, itna toh kar hi sakti hoon. Aur jaldi wapas bhi toh jaana hain, company chod ke aayi hoon" her own complany, her baby, The SG House, a couture clothing brand that are known for its inventiveness. Always manage to hit it out of the park with their designs while maintaining their authenticity.

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Hugging her parents was something that sana didn't know she needed until she did it. Talking through video calls is nothing like the reality. They still had that smile that would give her all the comfort she needed. Going into her old room, she was suddenly hit with a plague of nostalgia that seeped right into her heart. Her young, bare self was still reflecting from the walls of this room, she felt soo distant to what she was then. But her 12 year old self would definitely be proud of her 26 year old self seeing how far she had come from a naive girl who believed every word the world said to her, to now a woman who can read the person from just his appearance and body language. She didn't want to waste anymore time in reminiscing the past as she came to India on a mission and oh was she was determined to full fill it.

"Maa, I'm going to meet Rita aunty, its pretty late, don't wait up for me" saying she left the house

Sana is now in front of THE house, she takes a deep breath in calming her nerves before ringing the bell. The door opens and she was engulfed in a tight hug, it almost made her eyes tear up. Being the smallest, she was always the center of attention in both the households. Staying away for so long, she started to grasp how truly she really missed this all. The love that Rita aunty was showering her with made question why she stayed away from India for soo long, she wanted to believe it was work but the real reason was her son.

"kaisi hain beta?" she asks looking at sana with pure adoration.

"main thik hoon aunty" she said, giving a teary eyed smile.

"mujhe pata tha tu aane wali thi, kal tere call se hi main samajh gayi. Bohot himmat hain tere mein bacche, mujhe pata hain kya hua." she says while petting sana's head lovingly and giving her a look of reassurance.

"woh abhi bhi udhar hi hain?"

"haa, jaake mil-le"

"haan...." She says while the nerves in her stomach were yelling at the top of their lungs. Standing in front of his room door, knowing he's just a door away. She could hear his breathing and her anxiety started to rise. Her legs wanted to just turn the other way round and sprint, but she wasn't going to give up, she matched her breathing with his to calm herself down and gave herself an internal pep talk and then her shaking hand went up to knock the door.

'knock knock'

"whose there?"

"Ion"

"Ion who?"

"Ion know what you're doing in there , but lemme in!"

Just Kidding lol, don't come at me. If you fell for it then the jokes on you know who,

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Her shaking hand went up to knock the door.

'knock knock'

""Ace..... are you there? Its uh..me"

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Hello loves , I WANT feedback! waiting to hear all your thoughts and critiques. Infact i would appreciate brutal honesty more, or is my book no even worth talking about lol, way to humble me.

love xoxo ;)