Step after step after step and stop
A glimpse of light that's blinding
in a place of no escape,
it's there
it's close
The end of misery and the end of pain
I stand before the sight of tranquility
Step after step after step and fear
how could this be?
I am right back where I started
Step after step after step but quicker
I fight against the darkness's gravity that's pulling me away from the presence of relief
I make sure now
Im acting different now
A different person now
careful
The path I drag my feet on, Ive changed it now Leading me in the hands of freedom
Step after step after step, I still end up
right where I said I wouldn't be
step after step after step I'm crying now
the path is lost but I just run
The light gets lost but I still sense it
germs of despair are creeping in
Infected by the sickness that belongs in the past
no matter how much I scrub,
my skin stays filthy
Every step I take leads me back to pain
Let me go, I want to leave
It doesn't matter what I do,
I thought I knew what I deserved
So how did I end up here again?
Where are you?
Notice I'm not asking who
I know you
I hear your laughter; rotten candy
it turns my stomach, your voice a reminder of a taste I've always craved despite the will to change the old habits
My heart twists too,
it's learned to fear your name,
while still squeezing what's left of old love, repeating what it knows
an automated response to a presence like yours,
a confirmation
That no matter where I go
I'll always lead myself back to you
No matter where I am
My heart's a child that's conditioned to give you every piece of me
Step after step after step after step
It doesn't matter anymore
I close my eyes
I let me go
I spin around you
The cycle you have trapped me in
I follow it and I don't fight
I follow it though I can't breathe
I let your gravity move me,
not enough for air
but just enough to keep me spinning
I thought about it and you're right
This cycle is where I need to be
This cycle loves me, that's why it holds me
My heart has little left to give
But wants to give it all to you
My body needs this cycle in me
Round and round it makes me go
And I'm not crying anymore
I let the cycle be my rhythm
I lose myself at every turn
A few more spins, I'll truly lose it
My heart can't take this loop for long
And you are very fucking cruel
to watch me die on repeat
I thought I freed myself from you
but now I know I'm trapped in here
I think it ends but never does
That's the problem with a circle
the end and start, they don't exist
this endless journey of repeat
is your way of punishing me
For ever getting close to you
