𝑲𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒔𝒉: 𝑴𝒚 𝑫𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒓𝒆

𝟐𝟎.

"Where were you Ranvijay?" I whispered while still holding the vase in my hands. I was scared as she stepped inside the room along with him. I pulled back to the present world. His presence assured me that I was having a nightmare.

I want him to reach me. "Raaje! Calm down; I'm here- give it to me", he extended his hand towards me while my hands were still in the air holding the vase. My eyes were pinned to his eyes, and I didn't notice his hands travel from my side just to grab the vase.

His eye contact forced me to tilt up my face to match his height, as his neck was two steps away from me. My eyeballs twitch, my forehead drifting back to the dip in my throat. I shut my eyes in peace as my forehead's top touched his chest.

I pulled him close and hugged him tightly, just to feel him. "Ranvijay! She was trying to hurt me", I hiccuped while he began to run his hands on my back.

Tears dried up. Sadness took a nap, but the anxiety was still breathing within me. I clenched his t-shirt into my fists tightly. "Ranvijay, she will kill me; please ask her to stay away from me"

I pulled him closer. My grip would surely suffocate his breath. He was putting all his efforts to make me calm. He caressed my head with love and care, like my father did when I had nightmares.

I closed my eyes. I feel my heart beat getting normal. My body stopped shaking. But I need him more, because now I am scared to be alone.

"No! I don't want to get first-aid by her. Tell her to leave me alone" I stammer while his hand still rubbing my cheek gently. I don't want to get touch by her or anyone else. Their touches won't be secure and safe, and I needed a lovable touch.

"Kashish, it's necessary to apply medicine and-" He touched my hand between talks, "You have a high fever, Raaje." His words shifted my focus on my burning skin. Before that I didn't even know that I had high fever.

"Then you first-aid my wounds. I don't want anyone else to touch me" I said, making him silent. Perhaps he was feeling awkward enough to touch me. My wounds need deep attention and care, and someone else is not perfect for the job.

I want him to heal me. Touch every fucking deep cut of mine because his touches scream softness, gentleness, and care, and I need that desperately. "Okay, I will do that," he agreed.

❀❀❀❀❀❀

"You need to take a shower, so that dust and blood can be dripped down", I was naked in the shower. My whole body was shivering as I was taking so much time to clean myself. It's been 5.5 months since I saw myself naked.

My deep cuts were reflected in the mirror that was clicking pictures of me while standing in front of me. I began to run my hand over my wounds to touch them. He tortured me like a animals. The dust and blood were hiding my white, creamy skin.

The whole shower was filled with hot steam. I slowly slid my hand up and opened the shower tap. First, I got flinched with hot droplets. Guess what! I'm the one who loved to vibe in the shower, but today even these fucking droplets are scaring me.

This is not so fucking me. I had never been scared of anything in my life, but now I am scared of humans. Fear got stuck with me like a leech that didn't have any intention of leaving me unless sucking me.

I want to get rib of this Kashish. This sentence and goal were running through my conscious mind, but in the next moment, my fear started climbing on my body like a subconscious mind would kept reminding my brain to get scared.

Finally, I am done with the bath. Ranvijay passed me pair of dress, a long dress made with soft cotton and has Rajasthani embroidery with silk thread. It's very light in weight. I tugged it around my waist, but I wasn't able to tie the strings around my waist.