Mesmerized By Her (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 12

I looked at Lian and sighed.

The school personally invited our parents to join the celebration of the school foundation day.

They're among the main stakeholders of the school, that's why.

Here comes the devil

I don't hate my parents, it's just the mixture of resentment and longing a child feels.

I remember they didn't pay much attention to me. Our last family bonding was when I was 7 years old.

The rest of the time, they were too focused on their business.

Suddenly, they became overly caring after my high school graduation.

It's suffocating, especially during the pandemic.

They wanted to lock me at home, ayaw ako papalabasin ng bahay or kahit kwarto they even got me a personal maid.

A month before I moved to my apartment, we had a heated argument.

FLASHBACKS

'WHAT THE HELL? DO YOU JUST WANT ME TO ROT HERE IN MY BED?!' I angrily shouted at my mom, hindi ko na makontrol ang emosyon ko, nag hahalol halo na nararamdaman ko.

I can't believe them, I just wanted to hang out with lian, caizen, and kyll, but they wouldn't let me.

"DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME, RILE!"

"IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!" she yelled.

'GOOD?! YOU ALMOST LOCKED ME IN THIS HOUSE, KAHIT SA POOL AREA AYAW N'YO AKO PAYAGAN!" galit na sigaw ko.

"YOU CAN'T GO OUTSIDE THIS HOUSE, FINAL"

'FUCK IT! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO" I can't believe them.

'DON'T TALK TO YOUR MOM LIKE THAT, YOUNG LADY!' my dad shouted.

Afraid of my dad, I sat quietly on the bed, trembling.

My mom, seeing my fear, sat beside me, tapping my shoulder, gumaan naman pakiramdam ko kahit papaano, I miss this.

"We're just concerned about your health, honey. It's a pandemic, remember? You can't just go bonding with your cousins. I'm sure they'll  just fool around. You know how immature your cousins can be, honey" she softly said.

Hearing her comforting and soothing voice instead of calming down, I got angrier.

tangina.

I stood up abruptly and looked at my mom with so much anger.

"Immature? Fool around? Concern? Are you for real?' I asked with resentment.

'Your mother is right, your cousins are a bunch of troublemakers, listen to her." dagdag ni dad na mas lalong nakapag painit ng ulo ko.

'SHUT THE FUCK UP!' I shouted.

The audacity? kailan pa sila nag nagkapake sa mga pinagagawa namin.

"Pardon? Did you just cuss me?" my father angrily said.

yes, I fucking did.

'See the influence of your cousins on your manner—'

'I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!' I yelled and knocked over the lampshade on my table.

They were surprised by what I did.

'Stop badmouthing them. You don't have any rights, and for fuck's sake, stop pretending you're concerned about my well-being. As far as I remember, you forgot you have a child 9 years ago, and I forgot I have had parents since I was 7. The people you keep insulting right now? they're my family, and they became my escape when you started taking me for granted as your child!' I poured out my emotions, ang sakit sakit.

After hearing what I've just said, parehas sila natulala.

Now what? Are they feeling guilty? Well, it's too late.

I saw my mom cry.

She tried to approach me, but I couldn't bear seeing her like that.

But I was hurting, it fucking hurt.

I'm hurting throughout half of my life.

"Stop, don't even come close to me,' I restrained her, making her cry even more.

"Do me a favor."

"If you still think of me as your child, please let me go and have some space.

"It's hard living here with both of you always telling me what to do.

"It's overwhelming to suddenly get attention after being ne-n-neglected for nine years and now acting like caring parents.

"I need a break from it, for now, hindi pa ako handa parang awa n'yo na."

"I want space away from this broken home, please"

I pleaded pouring my emotions in every word I say kneeling in front of them.

My mom cried even harder, and my father tried to control his emotions.

I begged them even more.

'Alright, I'll give you 4 years,' my dad said.

'What? 4 years?' I asked.

'Yes, I'll sustain your needs, and I'll give you 4 years. That's long, but you'll get the degree and study,' he repeated.

I stand up and quickly agreed, thinking 4 years was cool.

'Cool th—'

'But, one mistake or any stupid stuff you do, you're out to your freedom" he said with finality, damn.

I hate him

I can't do anything about it cause lumabas na siya ng kwarto with my mother na umiiyak pa rin.

END OF THE FLASHBACKS

Sharing my feelings with them to that argument was both traumatic and oddly comforting.

It felt like removing a thorn that had been stuck inside me for years.

At first, living alone was tough I had to do everything myself, from cooking to cleaning and laundry.

Daddy didn't get me a maid, but he made sure I had fancy stuff.

My cousins didn't visit for a whole month.

They came to visit me last month, on the second day of school.

Things seemed normal, but I noticed fewer people wearing masks.

It's the "new normal," they say, with extra rules like alcohol spraying and temperature checks in stores.

Ngayon ko lang ulit sila makikita after the fight, meeting them again gives me mixed feelings, happy but also nervous.

I forgave them, but some disappointment and anger linger.

Still, I really miss my parents, I miss them.

Sawang sawa na ako mag kagusto sa may bf!